TGIF

In conversation

Mobile (sms) Attraction

FBC: Buying subway now. Thinking of getting your favourite sour cream chips.

Me: Cookie! White chocolate macadamia!!

FBC: Really? Strange I have the same craving

Me: That's why you are so incredibly attracted to me

FBC: Mmmm I thought it was your personality, smile, sense of humour, looks and more

Me: You shallow person you!

FBC: I know I'm terrible

Me: This is one of those moments where I go awww that's terribly cute, lean in and kiss you

FBC: I'm blowing a stream of kisses right now

Me: That's wasting kisses ... like air freshener in a busy toilet! Stop it!

Dialog worthy of modern age rom-coms.

In conversation

Why married people shouldn't talk to single people about their sex lives. 

C: man I still haven got my period m gonna miss out on the fun this week camping

Me: You can try making tampons out of leaves! That'd be fun. 

-----------------------------------------------------

On some life long lessons.

J: She call you for what? So you can start the jilted T** brothers club

Me: WTF are u talking about, I was there in 2002. I fucking pioneered the club. After what happened then I would think I've learnt my lesson. Nair mind ~ I know better now. 

In conversation - And it just keeps getting better people

Boys and girls ... I present to you the effects of alcohol. 

Wayne: My friends and I have a game, everytime someone says something remotely sexual someone responds with that's what she said.

Wayne doing the Eric Cartman 

Wayne as EC: Skinny ass ... I'm going home

Shirin: That's too short

Me: Yeah that's what SHE said. 

And now we return to our regular scheduled programming:

I wish I had ninja search skills ... 

wayne.rée says: (5:27:03 PM)

i have a picture of me in a spider-man costume when i was five years old, one of me in a britney like tied up t-shirt dancing with another guy, one of me with a tire around my waist and boots tied around my neck and one of me in drag. at this point, you REALLY think me in make up is a surprise or a shock to ANYONE?

*hsus - SoPPy says: (5:29:32 PM)

i doubt so

*hsus - SoPPy says: (5:29:37 PM)

u got me at britney

*hsus - SoPPy says: (5:29:47 PM)

really now ... britney?!

Right now I'd love to get my hands on that Britney pic, I should make that my life long goal. 

Reason 5 on why I think Wayne is a lesbian continued ...

His ex girlfriend The last girl he slept with was one. Makes the transition to date men all the more easier. Baby steps now. 

In conversation

*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:54:00 PM)

hurhur kudos to ur ninja search skills 

*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:54:09 PM)

great for virtual stalking

wayne.ree says: (3:54:22 PM)

(of which i never partake in. ever.)

*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:54:35 PM)

lies. lol

wayne.ree says: (3:54:52 PM)

you have no proof to the contrary!

*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:57:40 PM)

for now

*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:57:56 PM)

gives villianous slitty eyed look

wayne.ree says: (3:58:28 PM)

wow. that makes me the protagonist of this drama? that is SO fucked up

*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:59:29 PM)

think the punisher

*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:59:39 PM)

zomg i just made a geek reference

*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:59:54 PM)

*shakes fist*

wayne.ree says: (3:59:56 PM)

i know. my influence is rubbing off on ya.

*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:59:57 PM)

damn u wayne

In life, if you don't give head, you don't get head

After my breakup with Cancer, I was having a conversation with the Yardstick over one martini too many. He was leaving and I drank waaaay too much even for my standards. Imagine me slurring and me shifting precariously on the bar stool.


"Marriage should be like a business transaction. I mean look at my parents 13 years of marriage later, my dad goes off to marry a woman not much older than me. Fast forward another 12 years later, now he's telling me that he's tired of his new wife. And talking to me as if I'm his friend as if to get sympathy or validation. WTF. I should be the last person who should believe in love. There is no love. It's non-existent! There can only be lust and sex."


He listens obviously amused and asks me to tell him more about the business transaction.


"You see natural selection will not allow me to shag an ugly guy. Simply because I'm not ugly, I'm not drop dead gorgeous but I'm not ugly. You've got to be one of the best looking guys around in the bar and yet you're fixated on me."


At this point he laughs, looks around, two well dressed chicks pass him and says, that's because you have the nicest tits here.

Image used for editorial purposes only.

"Well at least they're good for one thing," I answered in a deadpanned voice.

So I reckon if I could one day find me a man who supported my endeavors, have aesthetically average looks, have 2.5 kids, an apartment and provided food on the table, I might cave and settle as opposed to going into academia, getting published, writing a novel, writing a cook book. Becoming an alcoholic, doing drugs, dying young. 

If I really wanted to be an overachiever, I'll marry an Indian Eurasian, my kids will defo enter Ms Singapore Universe. Or Ms Tiffany if they're as fucked as I was.

On the superficials

Time mellows people. I have this thing for guys with huge eyes that sparkled with life. The yardstick once said, over a bottle of wine after dinner, "we'd probably make beautiful kids together." Not that I was in a baby producing moment but it was the way he lowered his gaze upon me, invitingly. And of course being the yardstick he was prefect in every way. 

This weekend I learnt something very important about sight. It goes beyond what we can see, what we chose to see but most importantly what we can do by seeing. A deceivingly tiny pair of eyes saw more than I ever had, opened my mind and heart to hope and possibility. I think that was the best gift I could receive. Whatever happens, at least we'll laugh at the same potty jokes.

On a separate note, I'm having a fat day. I was looking at a particular picture which i took after my cousin's wedding, I cannot imagine how big my boobs will I'll be if one day I were to have kids. I'd post the picture up but it'll cause some sort of a nose bleed inducing moment according to someone I forwarded it to.