I don't have ideals of finding a perfect man but I've always had the ideals of finding someone one who'd love me despite my imperfections, someone who'd be happy, not just contented with me, living together and having a family and a home together. That's virtually everything I didn't have growing up. As the months flew by me these two years, it became more and more like an impossible dream. I knew that I had hit a bottom when having a successful career seemed so much more attainable.