Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Let me take you on a journey.

I trace with my fingers the routes of maps in my head. The many things things that I would do without you.

I'd cross a few borders - Feel the breeze on my face with the wind in my hair, make long exploratory walks, see the piazzas of Italy, run through trails of fallen leaves in 4 colours, cross-country train ride - Malaysia to China, India, Europe, South Americas, have conversations with strangers, salsa in the town square and see the stars amongst a vast field that spans as far as my eyes can see and free from highrise buildings, believe in God and His will.
"If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up
and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong

I know better
you said forever
And ever, who knew?"
Who Knew ~ Pink                                      

Most importantly have someone physically there and not just saying things. And then I remember why we were built differently.

If I had it my way, I would have left so long ago. Singapore is far too small. Every corner I turn in Raffles place is a painful memory and everyday here just reminds me that I don't belong. I found myself in a bizzare soliloquy,

"If I leave in 2011, Boy would be 18. Plus Grandma's not in very good health. By the time I finish studying in 2013, Boy would be 20. I wonder if he'll live that long."

Indeed, the worst of my fears is that I'm afraid that my cat's going to die on me while I'm gone.

No comments: