Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Congratulations Wayne


I say: oooh u has a gf and never told me
I say: bitch
Wayn says: i'm slowly leaking it out to people. the whole distance thing is a bit hard to explain to folks.
I say: not when i've been following the drama since the beginning
I say: pretty mad
I say: but i'm sure LOVE will prevail
Wayne: (though this just proves that NO ONE reads facebook profile relationship statuses)
I say: oh.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Reminscent

In my little emo moments. I think the lyrics say it all. Alanis Morrisette started out fantastic when she first broke out. Angsty women music were kinda big then and she had a great run. I really feel for herlah, her ex-fiance, Ryan Renolds went on to marry ScarletJo who looks like the poster girl for an anatomically perfect woman. She's kinda classier now too. I'd think it'd be so easy to slam them in a song.

I remember Sha telling me that there should be a line to segregate the lines between bestfriend and boyfriend. Was telling Jude how the quality of my conversations now has improved thanks to a certain person who has chosen to "play a role in my life."

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Looking back

Makes me wonder what transpired such conversation.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

CB FUCK!!!!!

!begin rant 

Who the fuck teach you lit review can omit reference one?! Am I supposed to telepathically know where your sources come from or search it out myself? Bladdy hell!!!!

Barry Manilow's rendition of Right Here Waiting sucks ass. Don't mess with the original! 

I heard Susanna and the Magical Orchestra's cover of Love Will Tear Us Apart on Fel's blog (Got to hand it to her for her great taste in music) It sounded so pretty. Then I heard Fall Out Boy's cover and the original. *cringe* It's like they took her Chanel dresses and recorded music out of shredding them to pieces. 

I need a new man whore. I have very short attention spans. Past applicants will not be considered. New ones will go through very stringent screening. Impress me with your best pole dance moves or if you can pick up my drinks tab without bankrupting yourself first. Mingers may not apply. 

!end rant

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Stuff that went through my head within the past 30 hours

I'm too nice for my own good. I told myself that I'd stop caring but I ended up recommending him for a job. Hearing his voice again. I felt something. The same feeling when I would overhear his voice over J's phone when he calls sometimes. This is sad and masochistic. I end up falling over and over again. The vortex of insanity - It has a tagline. It sucks. People caught in it are called suckers. Chocolate cake makes me happy. Yes indeed but greed is not good. There is such a thing called too much of a good thing. Sub the latest Soul Eater Episodes already MOFOs! Tossed and turned, couldn't sleep well. I wonder if he noticed. I want a holiday. I think i deserve one. It occurred to me this time two years ago, he proposed. Why am I still thinking of him. I am not in love. Not out. Still getting lucky, that's what is most importante. You might be really happy with what you're doing until someone tells you you're not. Then life begins to suck. And you realise that, its all about the money. Densha okoto was nice. Escapism and hyperreality. I love happy endings.  Secret santa headache. 

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

In conversation @ vurk

Lost in translation: At work with LS

Me to LS: Hey if we have lots of heavy stuff KS will have to be our beast of burden.

LS to KS: Eh KS tmr YOU'RE going to be our donkey cos we have to carry lots of heavy things. Please dress comfortably.



I *hearts* working with crazy ppl.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Cynical me



I'll always love you - what rubbish. Wait till I tell you Santa doesn't exist. Bwahahahahaha

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Recycled texts - As told to Sha

"Is short-termed happiness better than having no happiness at all?"


Saturday, December 13, 2008

Showing signs of recovery




For those of your who don't already know, I suffered an asthma attack last week. I guess the few days I took away from work, school still carried on. Time and tide waits for no man or woman. It was truly a shitty moment. I'm still swamped with work but I really thank the people in my lives who make it slightly ever so bearable. 

Friday, December 12, 2008

Have I mentioned I love my new job?

Format: Email


Sent to E CC: LS, 3.59PM

Dear E,
Since u have the biggest desk in our cosy new corner, you are required to allocate some space for us to contain our "hoards" which are not limited to the following:chocolates, biscuits, our growing collection of beverage sachets, instant noodles.
Since we are terrorists, and terrorist demands are seldom negotiable, we expect full cooperation.
Lots of hearts,


Your new neighbours


Format: Email

Sent to Soppy CC: LS, 4.06PM



Dear Soppy,
Oh terrorist-wannabe neighbours (Les Terribles),
That's a wonderful suggestion (demand). You have to ensure that your hostage (lovely me) is well-fed so that you will always have space for your growing food corner (hoard). :D
E


Format: Email

Sent to E CC: LS, 4.11PM


Ever so optimistic E. I confirm that your elephant tranquilisers are working great. And yes we treat hostages very well to comply with ISO (Infidels are So Overrated) standards.


Format: Email

Sent to Soppy CC: LS, 4.53PM

thanks for reminding me about the tranquilisers. need it bad now ... my head is throbbing. how about some medical aid for ze lovely hostage?


Format: Email

Sent to E CC: Soppy, 5.05PM

Soppy has jus gone off to pick up the ransom, so she regrettably is unable to attend to your request. in any case, hostages have to just bear with things until release (if at all). at least that's the case in my experience :-)

--------------------------------------------

Heng didn't get lumped together with the diet bunch.

Monday, December 8, 2008

People more damaged than I am

(via sms) J: Too many issues, dunno where to start. Me thinks key solution, u should stop rebounding and heal your heart first. Cancer is still very much on your mind, FBC isn’t outwardly what you are willing to settle for and the Yardstick is another variable you shouldn’t be thinking about.

I’ve been dreaming about Cancer. Random things, when I’m awake I tell myself not to think of him and poof … gone. It doesn’t happen when I sleep. I dream of random things that I end up getting upset over and find myself waking up in shock more disgruntled than ever. I start to dread sleep that is not alcohol or drug induced. The dreams have stopped ever since things have progressed with FBC whom has been a nice distraction until now.

I hate it when I’m right about things. What is it with my choice in men? If there’s one thing I’ve learnt is that, despite the many promises, never try to change them. This one is the same as the predecessors, too many issues. I try to steer clear of them especially if it is dealing with fidelity or distance. I have abandonment issues especially after Cancer and all the single and not available men I’ve been dating.

The year-end is drawing near and I have this personal superstition of mine that it does not bode well for me if I spend it alone at home alone.

Yardstick: then i would have had a lot of bad luck over the years...

Me: But like i said, its a personal superstition.

Yardstick: i make my own luck :p

This pattern I’ve noticed over a span of 6 years so who can contest that huh? Don’t get me wrong, its not as if I’m scrambling to be a dick warmer of any sort. Thankfully I’ve not resorted to that sort of desperation.

I’ve had some nice invites for NYE, (thank ye Wayne and yes I am aware that IDR exchange rate is 8K to SGD $1, I super miss the guys down under and a 16 hour flight across the world is waay out of my budget) I’m really contemplating getting totally wasted although it’s a nice thought but I really don’t want to spend time making out with a random stranger. Beer googles and being alone has a knack of getting to you. What I really want is to be around the people who are important to me.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Fiction - inspired by friends

Philosophie says: (2:30:58 PM)

Give me a setting and occupation

wayne.rée says: (2:31:19 PM)

uh... why?

Philosophie says: (2:33:20 PM)

just give me one

wayne.rée says: (2:33:43 PM)

the desert and accountant

Philosophie says: (2:34:06 PM)

y accountant?

wayne.rée says: (2:34:29 PM)

because it's the last job you'd expect of someone in the desert

wayne.rée says: (2:34:35 PM)

is this some weird fiction exercise?

Philosophie says: (2:34:38 PM)

yah

wayne.rée says: (2:35:35 PM)

thank yeh

Philosophie says: (2:36:33 PM)

the desert thing is so turn off-ish

Philosophie says: (2:36:40 PM)

coz i was thinking of something kinky

Philosophie says: (2:36:48 PM)

but she might get sand in her ...

Philosophie says: (2:37:10 PM)

and he might get abrasions

wayne.rée says: (2:37:19 PM)

so, essentially you just want to write an erotica and needed a main character and a setting. how is that even an exercise in fiction?! 

Philosophie says: (2:37:47 PM)

i'm flexing my creative muscles here

Philosophie says: (2:37:53 PM)

do not question my methodology

Philosophie says: (2:38:20 PM)

its going to be a porn script

wayne.rée says: (2:38:28 PM)

and yet you're not happy with the setting. see, you're just pretending to be exercising, when actually you're slacking off in a corner of a gym.

wayne.rée says: (2:38:55 PM)

oooooooooh, i wanna write a porn script!! i haven't done sex stories in years!! plus, if it gets made, i get my name on the credits!!

Philosophie says: (2:39:06 PM)

copycat

Philosophie says: (2:39:27 PM)

i'll slap u with a used rubber dildo from desker

wayne.rée says: (2:39:27 PM)

i was thinking of co-writing with you, but fiiiiiiine. be selfish.


He sat by the café window thinking about the soiree that had occurred the night before. His 3 shot espresso latte had hardly stirred him from the undead he was stirring into.

“At least I feel free. I am free,” he reassured himself. His thoughts shifted to Amanda the accountant. If that was even her name or profession, one could never be sure from a one-night stand.

They had met at a bar in the central business district. She was with some colleagues when he had chatted her up, she already had a drink in hand. It was an uninspiring cosmopolitan. If there was one thing he had picked up, girls with cosmos were definitely more agreeable. Strip her off her expensive vintage Chanel suit, what he saw was a lonely soul who resonates with too much Sex and the City.

Like a tiger on the prowl executed his moves. By the time she had downed her 7th cocktail for the night, she was begging him to take her home, allowed him to grope her in inappropriate places in full view of the public and skillfully taken off her knickers and placed them in his pants pocket.

Her apartment was sparsely furnished. The first thing that caught his eye in her zen inspired apartment was a 3 by 3 sandbox.

The body that encased in the suit that he peeled off was nothing short of amazing, he lapped her up like a mirage in a desert. (Insert 3 different sex positions in graphic detail - you may get as creative or kinky as you want here. I know y'all have filthy minds)

And that was the story of Amanda the accountant. 

All are welcome to provide input on the anti climatic ending, I'm down with a fever and bad throat, can't think of anything that inspiring in that department. So note away ... 

Monday, December 1, 2008

Happy endings

FlawedKnight® says: (9:33:37 PM)
woot you are in love!
Philosophie says: (9:33:45 PM)
lol
FlawedKnight® says: (9:33:55 PM)
congrats lah
its about time
Philosophie says: (9:33:59 PM)
what makes you say that?
FlawedKnight® says: (9:34:04 PM)
your blog lah
Philosophie says: (9:35:00 PM)
i'll neither acknowledge or deny that
lol
FlawedKnight® says: (9:35:08 PM)
lol
FlawedKnight® says: (9:35:13 PM)
i'll take that as a silent yes
FlawedKnight® says: (9:35:20 PM)
grats! woot!
FlawedKnight® says: (9:35:24 PM)
love is in the air!
Philosophie says: (9:35:25 PM)
very silent
FlawedKnight® says: (9:35:25 PM)
yay!
FlawedKnight® says: (9:35:33 PM)
but still a yes, nonetheless

I told the FBC that its strange when I write about him. Honestly, I am extremely inspired by what he has to say because it always provokes an opinion not necessarily agreeable with his. The thing about this exchange is the debate that matters not the outcome. 

The thing about blogging is that what we share is something much too complex and real for the one dimensionalism of the written word. No happy endings here because in true Sophie's fashion, I never want happy to end. 

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Happy-ness

I caught The Office Party at SRT with the FBC last night. Although its compared to Love Actually, I did think that the story itself lacked a little depth. For one thing, it's a Christmas play amongst the complexity and inter-weaving of the mini stories and characters I found it incredibly depressing. 

There were some funny bits but in the end, there were no happy endings which left me feeling quite fucked. The localization of the play could have been better, the accents were just so confusing. There was too many of them. A good actor doesn't have to speak in an accent just to be understood. 

It's set in a fictional advertising agency and I was telling J about it which affirms why I will not date another guy within the industry. (and by this i mean media) Too much tension, bitching, horny co-workers, frustration and inhumanely long hours.   

On a more personal front, I saw him kiss his mom goodbye. It gives me a heartwarmingly tender feeling I've not felt in years. For a moment, she caught me smiling and she blushed a darker shade of rouge, I said my goodbyes in a really cheery mood.

After breakfast he walks into Subway and orders 2 cookies for himself and 2 for me without asking me. That's quite attractive.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Woot!


Love the new group dynamics, its a breath of fresh air. Work hard to slack more.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The strangest things he says.

There's this island right ... it was called Phuket and it's in Indonesia. For all you geographically impaired people Phuket is here.

I think Old Chang Kee does their own advertising. I mean remember the pregnant curry puffs? That's the grossest thing I've ever seen. And why would I want to eat a curry puff within a curry puff?

Yah and you know what would be really scandalous, finding a sardine curry puff within a curry curry puff. 

Image taken from official website

How do you even go to sleep at night knowing that you ate some baby curry puff for tea!

It's times like these that I look upon and I understand why I am so unspeakably attracted. He makes me laugh till my cheeks hurt. 

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I'd make my own sex tape one day

To even the most cynical people, I say to them it's because they've never given themselves the opportunity to fall in love. 

Love is a wonderful thing - it lets you almost get away with murder, it's the reason for the explosive viral phenomenon called the sex tape and fill your body with endorphines and head with all sort of unrealistic expectations - even for a little while the world would seem perfect :)

Speaking of sex tapes back to the subject title. Unless you're a really considering an amateur turned professional porn career, I cannot see what would possess a girl to be cajoled into being video taped doing the nasty nast. At the end of the day when it gets leaked, it is always the girl at disadvantage. I can imagine the older folk tsk tsk tsking ... 

Ah father mother never teach ah! 

Having said that, I'd do a sex tape but only if he allows me to videotape him in a blonde wig with me and strap-on and him bending over first

I'm sure you can see where my weird fetishes are going but heh ... that's a tale for another time. If he can earn my respect and take it like a man, I don't see why not. 

Edit: 
Wayne says: 
i wanted to comment on your post. your blog hates my comments though. i was gonna say that i would've volunteered if not for a) the strap-on (i got no problem with the blond wig) and b) i'm almost certain that you'd leak that faster than paris hilton can swallow a whole cock but mostly, it's the strap on thing. i'm lesbian. our kind don't like it up the bummy.

Friday, November 7, 2008

If I could turn back time I would ...

I love Norm. But as much as I love catching up with him, its a bittersweet affair. He reminds me of so much I try to put behind. 

N: Not that I'm dissing my friend but do you want to be stupid the 3rd time
Me: No, its just something I need to get over by myself. It's been a month. The longest I'm consciously aware that I'm deliberately avoiding someone and have to remind myself that all the time. That's what makes it so hard and it gnaws at me like festering cockroaches in my brains. 

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Friday, October 31, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

In conversation

Mobile (sms) Attraction

FBC: Buying subway now. Thinking of getting your favourite sour cream chips.
Me: Cookie! White chocolate macadamia!!
FBC: Really? Strange I have the same craving
Me: That's why you are so incredibly attracted to me
FBC: Mmmm I thought it was your personality, smile, sense of humour, looks and more
Me: You shallow person you!
FBC: I know I'm terrible
Me: This is one of those moments where I go awww that's terribly cute, lean in and kiss you
FBC: I'm blowing a stream of kisses right now
Me: That's wasting kisses ... like air freshener in a busy toilet! Stop it!

Dialog worthy of modern age rom-coms.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

In conversation

Why married people shouldn't talk to single people about their sex lives. 

C: man I still haven got my period m gonna miss out on the fun this week camping

Me: You can try making tampons out of leaves! That'd be fun. 

-----------------------------------------------------
On some life long lessons.

J: She call you for what? So you can start the jilted T** brothers club

Me: WTF are u talking about, I was there in 2002. I fucking pioneered the club. After what happened then I would think I've learnt my lesson. Nair mind ~ I know better now. 

Sunday, October 26, 2008

In conversation - And it just keeps getting better people

Boys and girls ... I present to you the effects of alcohol. 

Wayne: My friends and I have a game, everytime someone says something remotely sexual someone responds with that's what she said.

Wayne doing the Eric Cartman 



Wayne as EC: Skinny ass ... I'm going home
Shirin: That's too short
Me: Yeah that's what SHE said. 

And now we return to our regular scheduled programming:

I wish I had ninja search skills ... 

wayne.rée says: (5:27:03 PM)
i have a picture of me in a spider-man costume when i was five years old, one of me in a britney like tied up t-shirt dancing with another guy, one of me with a tire around my waist and boots tied around my neck and one of me in drag. at this point, you REALLY think me in make up is a surprise or a shock to ANYONE?
*hsus - SoPPy says: (5:29:32 PM)
i doubt so
*hsus - SoPPy says: (5:29:37 PM)
u got me at britney
*hsus - SoPPy says: (5:29:47 PM)
really now ... britney?!

Right now I'd love to get my hands on that Britney pic, I should make that my life long goal. 

Reason 5 on why I think Wayne is a lesbian continued ...

His ex girlfriend The last girl he slept with was one. Makes the transition to date men all the more easier. Baby steps now. 

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

In conversation

*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:54:00 PM)
hurhur kudos to ur ninja search skills 
*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:54:09 PM)
great for virtual stalking
wayne.ree says: (3:54:22 PM)
(of which i never partake in. ever.)
*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:54:35 PM)
lies. lol
wayne.ree says: (3:54:52 PM)
you have no proof to the contrary!
*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:57:40 PM)
for now
*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:57:56 PM)
gives villianous slitty eyed look
wayne.ree says: (3:58:28 PM)
wow. that makes me the protagonist of this drama? that is SO fucked up
*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:59:29 PM)
think the punisher
*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:59:39 PM)
zomg i just made a geek reference
*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:59:54 PM)
*shakes fist*
wayne.ree says: (3:59:56 PM)
i know. my influence is rubbing off on ya.
*hsus - SoPPy says: (3:59:57 PM)
damn u wayne

In life, if you don't give head, you don't get head



After my breakup with Cancer, I was having a conversation with the Yardstick over one martini too many. He was leaving and I drank waaaay too much even for my standards. Imagine me slurring and me shifting precariously on the bar stool.


"Marriage should be like a business transaction. I mean look at my parents 13 years of marriage later, my dad goes off to marry a woman not much older than me. Fast forward another 12 years later, now he's telling me that he's tired of his new wife. And talking to me as if I'm his friend as if to get sympathy or validation. WTF. I should be the last person who should believe in love. There is no love. It's non-existent! There can only be lust and sex."


He listens obviously amused and asks me to tell him more about the business transaction.


"You see natural selection will not allow me to shag an ugly guy. Simply because I'm not ugly, I'm not drop dead gorgeous but I'm not ugly. You've got to be one of the best looking guys around in the bar and yet you're fixated on me."


At this point he laughs, looks around, two well dressed chicks pass him and says, that's because you have the nicest tits here.


Image used for editorial purposes only.
"Well at least they're good for one thing," I answered in a deadpanned voice.

So I reckon if I could one day find me a man who supported my endeavors, have aesthetically average looks, have 2.5 kids, an apartment and provided food on the table, I might cave and settle as opposed to going into academia, getting published, writing a novel, writing a cook book. Becoming an alcoholic, doing drugs, dying young. 

If I really wanted to be an overachiever, I'll marry an Indian Eurasian, my kids will defo enter Ms Singapore Universe. Or Ms Tiffany if they're as fucked as I was.

Monday, October 20, 2008

On the superficials

Time mellows people. I have this thing for guys with huge eyes that sparkled with life. The yardstick once said, over a bottle of wine after dinner, "we'd probably make beautiful kids together." Not that I was in a baby producing moment but it was the way he lowered his gaze upon me, invitingly. And of course being the yardstick he was prefect in every way. 

This weekend I learnt something very important about sight. It goes beyond what we can see, what we chose to see but most importantly what we can do by seeing. A deceivingly tiny pair of eyes saw more than I ever had, opened my mind and heart to hope and possibility. I think that was the best gift I could receive. Whatever happens, at least we'll laugh at the same potty jokes.



On a separate note, I'm having a fat day. I was looking at a particular picture which i took after my cousin's wedding, I cannot imagine how big my boobs will I'll be if one day I were to have kids. I'd post the picture up but it'll cause some sort of a nose bleed inducing moment according to someone I forwarded it to. 

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Spiralling down the rabbit hole

Robin Scherbatsky: You know what? You gave it away too early. You're an "I love you" slut.

Ted Mosby: Yeah, well you're an "I love you" prude. You know what? I'm taking mine back.

Robin Scherbatsky: You can't do that!

Ted Mosby: Just did. In fact, I'm giving it away, because I'm a slut.

[to a stranger]

Ted Mosby: Hey, I love you.

I faltered. I didn’t want to pull a Ted Mosby. The right words came too quick too soon. My mind was racing and the words swirled in my mouth while I deliberated what to say. I was being so PC I wanted to smack myself and yet in his presence I was who I was, completely disarmed. I guess the question is … was he who he was with me? I couldn’t tell. I wanted hold on to that moment for as long as I could and never let go. It scares me that I feel this way – a crazy kind of beautiful.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Making something out of nothing

Sometimes, I'm amused at how I amuse myself.

Like yesterday in class, as usual KL bombed. Soo reckons she could probably recite the lecture while having sex. I countered by saying something really nasty ** and that she probably wouldn't be having any sex.

Image used with permission from Joey Hohoho


Anyhow, here's a list of Questionable Notes that I took down during the lecture, because I'm so hardworking.

  • Uncontrollable urges

  • Mail Male shorts (I was imagining the super short type)

  • Move in (It sounds really sexy if you say it right at an opportuned time)

  • Gorrila marketing (ok this was just dumb)

  • Climax

  • When you do it at the bus stop ... with people watching (This is so kinky when taken out of context)

  • Boost sagging ...

  • Personal selling (sounds like self prostitution)

  • Mail Male bleeds (sounds like male menstruation)

  • Stroke their ego

  • Super agency urgency

  • High impact message massage

  • planning shit (I forgot where this came from) She meant planning sheet

  • Tit bit

  • DIY

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Witty Wednesdays. Die KL DIEEEEEEEEEEEE

Besides going about my usual nonsence and nuances, I think the previous story is fresh from the melanchony that I write. Reminds me of the final story in Pillowman about the painted pigs. Light and whimsical.

I am in a cheery mood despite being bogged down with what I feel is a dastardly bout of cold - sore throat, slightly feverish, aches and pains around my back thanks to Norman's good news - the cheery mood not the sickie. I'm not sure if it's a strange thing to say that the moods of my friends are caught on to me as if through osmosis. Norman my dear friend is in love.

I found this quote from Forbes

“Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.”

Happiness infects contagiously. I feel happy that things are working for him and even though I'm one of the bros (according to him that is), I can't help being reduced to giggles. *Thumps chest* Bro-ish giggles of course.

I've decided to go on a short break of the mind. I know with deadlines looming. I chant "I think I can I think I can." I'm trying to psyche myself into the zone. Some distraction is good.

Recycled Texts / Fiction inspired by "real people" - How I met Chuckles

The story would begin with a maze and lots of doors, after following a leprechaun down a rabbit hole and mistaking him for a midget (Watching the mini-me sex tape has somewhat influenced this story in a life altering horrific way *shudder*)

Distracted I hadn't noticed that I had stepped on a huge pile of manure. Like water buffalo poop not elephant.

The said excretion turned out not to be just any pile of shit but a talking turd that granted me 3 wishes. While trying to wipe off bits of the talking turd on the soles of my shoes, I thought long and hard and before I could open my mouth to say it out loud *poof* I was transported to a huge fair with cool rides around me and a change of shoes. I soaked up the atmosphere and sniffed the air that was a mad mix of popcorn, fresh cotton candy and grilled hotdogs.

When I looked straight ahead and there was this strange guy wearing a sarong and an Ah Pek singlet standing by the carousel, in his hands were a bunch of red balloons and a box of chocolates. Hi! My name is Chuckles he said to me. And that was how I would have met you.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Queerer than queer



J's tramp stamp, yes who ever is reading right now, J is a guy with an extremely small waist.

I also present to you the first 3 4 reasons and more reasons to keep on counting on why I think Wayne is a closet lesbian.

1. He once asked me if he gave on a certain gay vibe when I met him for coffee as if to ask for validation of some sort. While I gave a very meh answer because such things do not really bother me. I'd never known that this would be the start of something so epic.

2. He wants to go to work in sneakers and a suit.

Barney Stinson: Suit with sneakers. A little Ellen DeGeneres, but you pull it off.

3.
Philosophie says:
i say lets go for a nasty yeast infection (On cursing KL with a yeast infection)
.xom says:
yeah, but to see her awkwardly try to discretely scratch herself down there? disturbing... and priceless.
Philosophie says:
yup she'll be in some sort of shaolin stance attempting to limbo the table with a cactus as a centre piece for purely asthetic reasons ala ellen
.xom says:
so, we're agreed? itchy genital warts then?
Philosophie says:
ok u won me over
.xom says:
channelling our joint belief then in 3...
.xom says:
2
.xom says:
1
.xom says:
BELIEVE! (rainbow icon)
.xom says:
(i've never used that rainbow emoticon before and the first time i do? it's for genital warts. my god...)
Philosophie says:
ok this is going to be reason no. 3 why i believe you are a lesbian

Ooooh I just remembered this one

4. He loves the word man-gina (new)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Reason 12918462 on why I <3 being fag hag

We have an arrangement whereby every time we walked into a unisex shop, he’d go his way and I’d go mine. We don't go for the same dress, I don't end up not buying something because he saw it first, he has excellent taste in women's wear as well as colour coordination (unlike moi), and still get to laugh and bitch about ridiculously fugly fashion.

Most of time he walked away with something after all I had only $50 to spare so I scoured mostly the bargain counters for casuals. My suits, jackets and OL stuff can wait. Get the job then say lah. Will cross the bridge when it comes. Of course here’s to hoping the bridge comes, sooner than later.

Saw some really nice stuff - a sequined LBD which I have no occasion to wear to, a super cute ruffled top that I’m too fat to wear now that will look fab with a pencil skirt and skinny arms. 


I am fashion idiot, was trying to google what this type of cutting is called. Women's clothes are so mind boggling lah. Halters, racer backs, spag tops the list goes on. My brain is simply not equipped in storing so much useless information. 

I am missing skinny me. This is she BTW


Vintage 2003 post breakup with the same ass, fucker, he should not be named cancer. Now I feel so past my prime. 

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Why Geeks rule ...



This made me tear a little.
View the animation clearer below.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

If ....

I get the job.
I might have to stop eating.
Yes I want it that badly.
I would give up many things.
Most importantly, I wanted to see.
The look on his face.
Take back my dreams.
They've always been mine.
Not yours but mine.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Mental rest day.

I know isolation might sound like a horrible place to be for some people. Many of the friends I have are actually social butterflies. I on the other hand bask in anonymity. Fortunately for me, my last year of secondary school was more kind than the others and I guess its the good memories that will always remain. This is one of the few private sanctuaries I go to when I'm alone. This is what keeps me sane and reminds me of the measure of my journey.


Politics was never something I was interested in but I've got to admit the way VP hopeful Palin is playing the field is reminiscent of Miss Teen USA North Carolina 2007. I'd be damned if the maverick pair, Joe Six-pack and soccer mom win. I've gotta credit my strategic management lecturer for cultivating my interest in the excitement and media portrayal of campaigning. If not for him, I wouldn't be checking out SNL the vice presidential debate 2008.


Lastly, I really need to sit down and remap my options and routes. I succumbed to a panic attack yesterday with the impending interview, my horrible weekend and too much time to think. It was as if I see my life flashing past me like a horrible car crash in slow mo'.


Some thoughts about my deed over the weekend: I cannot apologize for what I did because again, I was just doing the dirty work. As Dean once told me, "cannot live without is a strong feeling." I owed it to myself to do the thing you couldn't do, the right thing - Set me free. Lying by omission is still lying, you don't lie to hurt people you love, you don't prolong pain. You knew how I felt and you took advantage of it. What I did was immoral, underhand and down right dirty. Look at the battle of Troy, lives have been lost for the very same reason. The only reason I am in hiding is because I wanted to calm the turmoil to find peace within so that I can make rational decisions. I apologize if I am not in the best of mood for chats, I think it is critical that I pay my dues and give time to heal and before you know it, I'll be back on track.


Some cool linkorama:
This totally cracked me up.

And Mimi sent me this - he said it was listed on the favourite website award.

Monday, October 6, 2008

I just cut cancer.

Image via stock.xchg

Expect a slow but complete recovery.
SoPPy says:after that, i felt as if i just came back from a war and i came out the loser and ended up with a bloody mess
EsSEnZa DeLLa NErAZa says:haha, i figured it was smth similiar to wad u told me
way to go sop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SoPPy says:then i texted u about dying my hair blonde

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Fiction: Inspired by best friends.

She found me kneeling by the doorway of my house. I was crouching foward and my stomach churned.

“Fuck, what have you done Sandy?” her eyebrows furrowed in a worrisome expression - the one she did when I fucked up most of the time.

"I cut myself. Then I rang him ... I didn't want to but he came over and we fought. I yelled and it was as if he couldn't hear me ... So I cut him. Over and over again," I said trailing off.

“Oh baby you’ve got beads of blood on your face,” she skillfully licked some kitchen paper and rubbed hard to get the spots of dried blood off my chin. The blood came off but bits of my skin where she rubbed too hard turned pink.

I stared at my bloody arms, the maroon crusts and fresh scarlet gashes that painted pretty cobwebs on my arms. I had felt no pain. I feel no pain just light headed-ness from the blood loss and nauseated by his face. It was the same face I fell for over and over.

The antiseptic stung my wounds like his lies that cut my soul. He had the face of an angel but he was such a horrible person.

"What did u say Sandy?"

"Bad, bad, bad," I repeated. He was a horribly bad person.

She wrapped the bandages around them and sealed my bow with a little kiss to take the pain away. I felt like one of the kids in her classes. And for a flash moment, the stinging did go away.

When she was done, she stood up, straightened my top, looked straight into my eyes and said as a matter-of-factly, “Good riddance love. Now lets get rid of the body.”

Hurt


I've heard of the term bleeding heart but its not really like that.
Hurt is when you're so angry that your heart races.
You cut yourself and you don't feel pain.
Your head throbs with anger and frustration and your eyes blur from tears and delirium.

SO FUCKING TELL THE TRUTH AS IT IS ALREADY.

Edit: Thank you to those who have asked how I am. I am okay.
Hurt of this sort is like poison that consumes you. 
Do one thing to purge it out of your system.
Anything.

Burn down his car, the pile of clothes that he's left at your place, play frisbee with the stack of CDs that you used to listen to together. Get inspiration off the internet.

Tip to all the men, next time you tell someone you want to get married and sort of cheat on her. You should probably tell her its over and not give some cliffhanger excuse like you know, maybe something will happen ... sometime, lay low for a while, change your name, your hair colour, move to another continent (and stay there). You might wanna really make sure that she's not an evil genius. Coz you know them evil geniuses are scary. 

And if you get someone like me ... I hit below the belt where it hurts. Self preservation as motivation works wonderfully as offense and defense. 


Friday, October 3, 2008

Recycled texts.

How does one get one's lost mojo back together when Friday night will be spent in school for discussion, a whole Saturday, or at least the daylight is dedicated to finding inspiration for web design. Come Sunday I'm committed for another project meeting. Ack. There are days where feel like I can do anything. Today is just not one of those days.



Last song syndrome:

On the good ship lollipop.
Its a sweet trip to a candy shop
Where bon-bons play
On the sunny beach of Peppermint Bay.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Satiation

Ate too much over the holiday.
I recalled a funny msn conversation with a former fatty on the topic of unattractiveness. I can't exactly recalled what transpired the conversation but it goes something along the lines of this.

Me: Minger
Him: I not fugly ok.
Me: I never call you fugly, I said minger. Minger is better than fugly.

On the scale of ugly we have: Unattractive, minger, ugly, fugly

NB: I remembered ... the conversation was about what would you do if an unattractive girl in bar tries to chat you up.
Note to self, chilli padi is an excellent digestive but it also burns your backside.

Inspired by the word of the day: Evidence

I traced the skin atop my shoulders to the nape of my neck where you planted a spoor of kisses. The reflection that mirrored looked nothing like me. My hair was disheveled with straying strands drooping from my chignon. Beads of my perspiration amalgamated with impressions of your potpourri of scents. A tiny night-old hickey was left just north of my right boob. As I lathered myself down with soap, and the cold water hit my skin, I felt cleansed again.

And only you will know of all the dirty things I did.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

10 things I fear the most

Tagged by Kai.
(In no particular order)

Not finding the love of my life
Having regrets
Blood and gory stuff
Losing my mind – I read the Notebook, I think Alzheimer’s is the worst disease ever
Redundancy as if one day I would have no purpose in life and be dependant on others
Seeing people I care about (not many of them) suffering
Lizards
Heights
Speed 
A huge lizard next to me in a rocket shooting towards outer space - would probably cause me to die of fright.


Friday, September 26, 2008

Touched by a princess

SoPPy says:
awww weilin i feel like crying
SoPPy says:
i think i'm an emo wreck
Will says:
pls la sop




Photo credit: Zela (stock.xchng)
Will says:
stop eating deep fried lard
Will says:
and later ASTONS the beef fats
SoPPy says:
i like
SoPPy says:
find me a man who will let me eat fats and lard
Will says:
a(n) ah pui?
SoPPy says:
nope someone who is happy because i am happy
Will says:
im sure u will find somebody
SoPPy says:
i don't think that's helping
Will says:
hey
SoPPy says:
i think human relations are ... complicated
Will says:
it is, trust me
Will says:
but its sth we cant live w/o too
Will says:
hey babe, most importantly is u feel gd abt urself.
Will says:
i gtg... cheer up k, if not u can always call me... LOVE Princess

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Reality Bytes.

There were many things I cannot bring myself to not understand -- Rocket science, gender equality, racial discrimination, why the scent of Polo colonge (Polo the brand not the mints) turns me on, why the good things in life are so bad for us. Butter, alcohol, cigs, fried lard. Ooooh fried lard. The thing that baffles me the most is human relations.


The following is inspired by this

Image from http://ajaluna.googlepages.com/


Dear Nick,

For many years we have been Nick and Natalie, after you left I struggled to find the soul within myself that made me. Me and not your better half. I was your better half remember that.

I am greatful that I no longer have to sit through your sorry excuses, your empty promises, the big bag o' bullshit about making plans and having a future together yada yada.

I cannot bring myself to believe the crap about you needing space to develop your career. Make up a better story, something fresh something new. While you're at it, don't crawl back to me because you and your new squeeze didn't work out. I spent 10 years of my youth on you. Tell your bitch that's 70 dog years.

Piss off and go suck donkey balls.

I miss you. I'm happy that you're happy. 

Love,
Nate



Monday, September 22, 2008

Cheanea's suspicions have been confirmed --

I'm not of this world. My alien species mate by shaking hands.
All minions must shake the queen's hands.
As seen by Shaun.

Oh and if you didn't know, not all penguins mate for life, one of the species that does is the Galápagos penguins and they're really cute.

My million dollar question for today is "What do you do, if u found someone u cannot live without. And you just can't get it together."

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Change.

I am no way critical of the related persons, this post is related to me and my thoughts on the recent chain of current happenings.

My first brush with joining a petition was to petition for one of our tutorials in poly to be brought forward as there was a retarded 3 hour break in between for an hour's class for the last class of the day. We all agreed that we could all be doing something more condusive. We consulted the lecturer in question and she said okay as long the school approves. The class rep at that time gathered the class signatures and submitted it to our programme manager. The next day our class got a dressing down, the lecturer that agreed to the change was given a stern warning and our careperson (equivalent to form teacher) also gave us a lecture.

I remember lashing out at our very nice (no sarcasm intended) careperson that she doesn't know what the hell she was talking about. I remembered feeling upset for the other lecturer, we shared her tears. She was cornered by the board and penalized for siding with the students. As for our care person, I understood that she was disappointed in us but she just echo-ed the chorus of the higher ups that had given us the exact same lecture.
Pissed off, I stood up to defend the other lecturer, details are a bit fuzzy but I remembered it was about the school being deliberately unreasonable and inflexible, and I'm sure she did it in everyone's best interest. It was a heated debate and I ended up making her cry. It was a personal victory for me. Or was it?

Looking back on the whole ordeal it is rather dumb. I mean at school level, management sort of told us something along the lines of, "You think your father own the school ah?" and told us to go fly kite. Our class, class A lost its appeal against the school, things went back to normal. Well not quite, I became quite known as the one that flew over the cuckoos nest.

Anyway, I see a similar situation brewing in my new class, in attempt to rationalise the whole situation it brought me back to such memories of the past. I hear a lot of loud whispers of unhappiness but nobody thinks of what they want to get out of it, what can be done, when they want it to be done, at what cost, worst still not everybody wants the same thing. Some say change! Some say oh I just wanted to rant, no collective opinion, everything is in a mess.

This reminds me of a t-shirt I once saw that reads.
"No guts no glory, no brains same story."

I am in no way trying to initiate some kind of a revolution or rile up the people. But I criticize the lack of agenda. If I had to pick a role, I'd rather be the political commentator.

Imagine if Obama got up to say: I want change but erm ... i don't know how long it'll take, errrr I'm not sure what I'm unhappy about either I just know that I'm UNHAPPY so all of you peeps who want to be unhappy with me. (Damn that bad rap music) Let's all have a blast being unhappy and angry at the current situation -- Do you think anyone will take him seriously?
Don't even have to go till the extent of using Obama as an example. What about Dr. Chee?

We are communication students FFS. If we cannot advocate change who can?
Taken from WATER7 (uncredited but looks like Banksy's work)

On the flipside of reality, I realised that many people don't have an opinion, again loud whispers I hear. This is the product of an excellent social experiment. If we all can't get along and agree, why bother to change anything at all. Perhaps my ideas are too liberal for my time for my own good.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Sementara

I'm plugging this from Float's new song Sementara because its such a pretty lyric:

"sementara... akan kukarang cerita tentang mimpi jadi nyata
untuk kita berdua"

It roughly translates to, meanwhile ... let me tell you of a story of a dream that becomes reality just for the two of us.

It has a beautiful P Ramli old skool feel to it.
I saw it on Mandy's MSN which transpired this conversation,

SoPPy says: are u having some sort of a honeymoon-ey baby producing moment
mandy says: nope y?
SoPPy says: its a pretty lyric
mandy says: i know and a very good song click the link
SoPPy says: Yup. u know its one of those songs that give us unrealistic expectations of our mundane lives
SoPPy says: i'm feeling bitchy and cynical

Catty Post

I was at home clearing somewhat of the remainder of my AL. It's amazing what I miss on days when I'm not at home. I mean the pictures do not do justice to the real thing. These pictures pretty much sums up why Boy is my favourite.

Boy turns fourteen years old this December. I can't help but wonder how many years he has left. I know its a morbid thought, I had a discussion about this with Wayne about pet lifespans. As far as I'm concerned Boy will live FOREVER. He's such a pretty thing. He's also no longer the bug/lizard exterminator extraordinaire, he's so old that he has trouble seeing past his nose anything smaller than his paw.
I know its weird to be saying this, I saw a lizard about 3-4 inches long (inclusive of its creepy looking detachable tail) I was pointing it out to Boy to rip it to pieces but his eyes failed him and he ended looking at me quizzardly as if I saw a naked apparation. 10 years ago he would have tore that bugger to pieces I swear.


And that's us trying out the photobooth application on the Mac. We were posing in a hello kitty-isque photo ... hello kitty got no mouth remember?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Fiction inspired by real people 1008

She smiled to herself that day. She always prided herself as a woman of the future, independant, bold and most importantly -- by nature not the clingy sort. They didn't need to hold hands when they were out. In fact the thought of his hand enveloping her tiny hand seemed slightly intimidating and made her palms sweaty. And not in a hot flashy kind of nervosity but a painfully distressing one.

He was a vision of confidence and intelligence that emboldened her. In person he was a larger than life character yet he possessed a faltering flakeness she could not comprehend. He was like rows and rows of validated numbers that didn't quite add up. Sometimes he was vulnerable, sometimes he was honest and most of the time he was himself the self assured bloke. Bloke, not dude not guy.

There were times when all she wanted to do was to reach out to him and say that she empathised. And deep down inside she really knew what he was feeling. Feelings about fear, about confusion about hope or the lack of. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly while counting to ten. Then it came to her. The few memories he left behind.

He reminded her of kisses on her back, cuddles under warm sheets, coffee and city hall.

Monday, September 8, 2008

On good days you remind me of ...

Apple trees and rainbows, the season autumn because of the breeze and leaves that turn red, sashimi and ramen, big brown shoes, Marlboro cigs, an untainted human smell -- faintly salty, run and raisin, green tea and Phish food ice cream, meat ball subs and medium rare steaks, potato -- fried, baked or boiled. Frogs, warm hugs.

And yet I keep telling myself I'm not in love with you.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Talk back

Complete the sentence I would sell my mother for ....


  1. Shaun: A great designer job and a million dollars

  2. Wayne Ree: An awesome pair of (out of production) doctor marten boots i've been looking for for ages, that have the print of the union jack on them

  3. Cheanea: i would sell my mother.... to myself so no one could have her!

Keep em coming!


Edit:


Sha speaks: i wun sell her for aniting


Rey says: ah, i got one . . .i would sell my mother for people to forget my "welcome to the club" story.


Tola provides picture:


Jixuan says: a button or two for memory of her button nose

CP keeps it simple (instantaneously): $50

Azmi my little cousin (this absolutely cracks me up)

azmi nc - says:
wait does it relate back to your mum?. lol.
SoPPy says:
no
azmi nc - says:
chey. would have been fun then...
azmi nc - says:
for a tupperware of fish keropok and the exact same mother back

(The cool people at Intagliobox)

Karan says: I "would" but I wouldn't for anything in the world.

Naimi says: foreign investment when it reaches its peak
Sammie says: i would sell my mom for world include all its riches like oil, minerals and most of all people

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Over interlectualizing lyrics ...

That's what you get - Paramore
I simply love the comments on the lyrics.

thee-rockin-ashley says:
think this song is pretty much saying that when it comes to being in a relationship and loving someone, you can't just fall for everything.. cause in a sense, your letting your heart win. And in the end, it's more pain to you..

StrawberrySprinkles says:
To me, this song is about how if we could just fucking think straight, we would not do retarded shit over and over and just keep hurting ourselves. But when we let our hearts win over our heads, pain is all we invite in.

Hate Me - Blue October
About top 10 Most Annoying songs listed Hate Me as No. 5 : Why oh why should clinical self loathing be trotted out as 3 minute pop song soap opera?

In conversation

On my superficiality and genderflexibility ....

Me: I might not help you because u not pretty and don't have big boobs
Him: lol, is it because i am handsome and have man-tits?
Me: i am not going to answer that, I've got a feeling it might be used against me one day.

If you're reading this you know who you are.

With Wayne (fellow pervert) ....

Me: I know a guy who thinks his existence is to put other people in their place. I mean wow, how does one respond to that?

Wayne: You could have said, well, from my understanding, humility isn't the responsibility of pricks and assholes

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Inspired by real people

Next time you wanna scold someone siao or crazy try using meshuggana instead. Yiddish is strange yet at the same time cool. Like disco balls lol.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Thursday, August 28, 2008

As seen on Asiaone - Crap level up

This made me feel sad. This level of "journalism" would probably come out from me after downing 15 shots of tequilas. I'm trying to figure out what they're trying to convey here. I mean the girls are attractive and successful no doubt but to begin with a line like Singaporean men are a turn off ... is just wrong. There's no win to the arguement.

I'd like to know why did they even answer to a question like that.

It reinforces the Singaporean woman stereotype that we're just too up there, SPG, over-calculative. Why are we nit picking? What do they want to achieve from this? Implementation of grooming classes in NS?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

In conversation

After a group study session.

Me: Did you know Fucker is gender specific, so next time u scold Fucker, you must direct it to a male.

Classmate: How about Fucktress?

Within the same day:
Classmate: Pas-s-kis-tan-ists
Me: (While everyone was trying to make out the word) Wow. I didn't know that Pakistanists had so many syllables.


Over the weekend at SH, these pair of shoes caught my eye, I thought they were really cute. To the wearer's credit he was also quite cute lah.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Cat Camo

Inspired by BM's entry on Kitty Camos.

Why my kitties don't even bother to conceal themselves when it comes to nap times?

In fact, its quite the opposite.

Kitty and her I-don't-see-you-means-you-can't-see-me pose.


Boy who really thinks he really is a boy (albeit deluded) choses the empty side of the bed nearer to the fan.
If you ask me I think they're really comfortable in their surroundings. And don't feel the need to hide from potential predators or threats.
In response to people who ask me, "Eh you sleep with your cat?"
I always answer them no. He sleeps with me :)



Monday, August 18, 2008

Stupidity

*Sung* I just called to say your aunt's husband is cheating on her
I just called to say how much i care ...

RIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHT.
  1. Because I would feel good upon knowledge of such things?
  2. Because Mak Rah would feel good if I told her?
  3. I would really be happy if NOBODY in my family will recognise you. As if YOU never existed.
Why does he love upsetting me so?

After going about my bestfriend duties of assembling Sha's Tiramisu last night, I felt faint and sick in the stomach. After throwing up, my body ached telling me that I was pushing my limits so I sent myself off to bed with 2 asprins.

I'm quite inspired by something today. The last time I had to sit for an exam, the "yardstick" was here. I felt good studying. I will mug for my exams and will not let abovementioned idiot bring me down. I will think positive thoughts. I will drink tonight and sleep happy.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Nightmares that plague me.

SoPPy says:
i had a nightmare last night
SoPPy says:
woke up at 5.30
SoPPy says:
was so tripped that i actually went out for a run
jar0n - stone-ness says:
what kinda nightmare?
SoPPy says:
and then i felt sick after
jar0n - stone-ness says:
THAT bad, huh?
SoPPy says:
yes it was

Again, too personal, won't blog.

I smiled for the first time today reading a response from the "yardstick." He makes my life a little more bearable. Trust V to send me well wishes and tell me that things will be alright.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Fiction

I need a drink.

I just told my bestfriend for 7 years that he's no longer even a friend because the truth is he hasn't been behaving like one for the longest time.

Anyway, I haven't written fiction in a while. Here goes:

Nina went out alone that night, she was dressed in her nines as she would on days she went man hunting. Sometimes she went with girlfriends with like-minded agendas.

That day she wore a little black labeless dress that exentuated her tiny frame and her back, a fair, blank canvas that would excite any tattoo artist. She wore her make up like a mask to hide a facade behind a sad sad smile.

Tito was the piano player at the bar that night. It had been a quiet Monday, like the many mondays that have preceeded that particular quiet Monday.

He spots Nina at the bar. Alone. Drinking hard and fast. He steps up and says hello. He's never seen her before. She was pretty. He would never forget a face like that.

He offers to buy her a drink.

"I work here, I get a discount," he said smiling.

To his surprise she accepts graciously.

By the time they got to Nina's 5th drink for the night, they were laughing the night away like college kids.

Nina lets him put his hand on her naked back. It was warm and cushioned her against the hard cold bar stool. She liked the way he made little circles against it with his long slender fingers. It was a nice touch.

She liked how he inched closer. It wasn't long before she was in his arms and he was planting little kisses on her neck, her fair shoulders.

"Do you dance?" he whispered in her ear.

She nodded, "If you can lead, I'll follow," and he twirled her around to a jazz number.

Holding her close, taking in the scent of her hair and perfume.After the song, Nina declared she needed a smoke. He followed faithfully.

The alley was dark, she smoked and he didn't. He stood behind her, as she rested herself on him. He fingered the outlines of her garter belt against her thighs before he would decide to venture up her skirt.

It was so dark that he didn't see her take out the shiny knife in her purse.

The first time she stabbed him in the stomach he was stunned. He could feel her pulling the corrugated knife out of his guts. His tears welled up naturally and blurred his vision. He stumbled and tried to blink them away. She tried to stab him again, this time it was a deep gash slightly missing his pancrease. His line of vision, got dimmer.

With every cut she felt a rush of excitement and exhilaration. By the time she stabbed him the forth, fifth and many many times after, Tito was already dead. And a bloody mess.

The night didn't have to end that way. If he was easy, they would have fucked, and like a good girl the next morning, she would have left never to see him again.

Nina rationalised her deed. Tito was just too perfect, with men like him. It was better that they didn't exist.

Tito the piano player died of multiple lacerations that night. His face, untouched, perfect in every way. His body dumped by the dumpster by a beautiful girl he had never even shared a passionate kiss with.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Eh? To finding stuff about myself.

Got this from Dean's blog, I think its quite an eye opener

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Between sleep.

I feel cheated when I pick up a bad book to read. Who will compensate me for my wasted time and effort?

Funny dear were we talking about books? For a minute there I thought you were talking about men.

I had a dream about you last night that I was hugging you. It was a familiar embrace, almost friendly, almost intimate but most of all like how hugs were supposed to feel ... warm and fuzzy. I've missed you. What am I saying, I am missing you.

From a third person's perspective I would look as if I was clinging to you like a monkey, but let's not go there.

I woke up with a jolt from my slumber feeling as if an Acme anvil had descended upon my poor head. I wondered if you had that effect on women. Maybe they should give it a name and make it a clinical condition. Kinda like herpes.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Irony

I was at Gardens yesterday chasing away blues, painting the town a shade of emo with the best company I could imagine.

I came home to an email about death and funerals from a blogfriend. It wasn't morbid or anything.

I got SHOCKED something from the past (too personal, won't blog here)

And by the some coincidence, because of the aforementioned shock, I rang the ex of 5 years and learnt of the passing of his grandfather which momentarily made me forget about my own problem and became somewhat of a consoling session.

Smelly, the thing about death is that it imputes the living more than the dead. The dead remain well ... dead. I'm sorry to hear about him and I know you loved him and perhaps at this point nobody can say anything to make you feel better. But if you need anything, I'm here for you.

These are the words I said because I felt like its the right thing to do.

These were the words that you should have said to me when my grandma passed away but you didn't. 1 year ago, I would have rushed to see you, to be there for you because I know how much it means, because I was always there for you. Was being the operative word.

But now. These are just words. Like all the things you've said that never materialised.

Regrets ... I try to make it a personal philosophy of mine not to have any. Because we move on.