JJ is damn funneh.

Me
i watched the latest bleach anime (271)
orihime is damn irritating
11:39pm
JJ
can kill her pls?
11:39pm
Me
someone keel her already
lol
11:39pm
JJ
leave her boobs to someone more useful
like
erm
like
ah heck.. put them on ichigo
11:40pm
Me
HAHAHA

When my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard ...

You fill up this application form.

Short stop

Pew pew would probably be the most non-threatening onomopiac sound ever conceived for a weapon shot. It’s like unicorns shooting out rainbows out of their asses.

And then Wayne sends me this visual:

It would have been waaaay cooler if the unicorn had rainbows shooting out of its ass.

C: I need a cause, I hate volunteer work.
Me: What about rehabilitation of whores back into society, you are already in the the RC. (C lives in Geylang - Singapore's red light district)
C: I hate you.

C: What's with that smug look?
Me: I just a mental high five with the little person in my head. SCORE!

In conversation

Intern 1: Honestly I do not know what to do if I was presented with that many pectorals. Do you like pectorals?

Me: I wouldn't really care.

Intern 2: (With a Eureka look) I know! You could play DDR

In conversation

On my the choice of MSN nick,

the good eek says: 

someone's cleeeeeearly not a big solitaire fan

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

*kicks*

the good eek says: 

*blocks

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

shaddup u non-single insensitive bastard

the good eek says: 

*hadukens*

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

*sucker punches*

the good eek says:

i am very sensitive to single folk, dammit! i was single and not getting any for four years. there is no one more sympathetic!!

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

this can go on FOREVER u hear me

the good eek says:

*shows off jock strap, then yoga flames your ass*

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

wtf is yoga flame!

the good eek says: 

dahlseem's move

the good eek says: 

duh

Soapy - tired of the games you play says:

*pulls an ULTIMATE wedgie with jock strap, thus deflecting yoga flames*

the good eek says: 

... that's physically impossible

the good eek says: 

who play game with you? tell me!

the good eek says:

i settle!

And when you think it can't get any better .....

Soapy - tired of the games you play says:

u are masochistic u know that

the good eek says: 

i am actually quite gentle, believe it or not

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

because u are the one who has to bend over

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

of course u have to be quite gentle

the good eek says:

i curse you with nightmares of me and other men of my caliber getting it on

Soapy - tired of the games you play says:

well if they're good looking and u are bending down i can hardly see u

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

its ok

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

i might welcome that thought

the good eek says:

i said men of my caliber.

the good eek says: 

actually, no. scratch that. i curse you with the thought of five guys who all look exactly like me (my clones if you will) getting it on.

the good eek says: 

so there.

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

too late

the good eek says: 

it's never to late to curse

the good eek says: 

*curses*

Soapy - tired of the games you play says:

the disc has already be written

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

u've missed the boat

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

better luck next time

the good eek says: 

you say these things, but i know the thought's already seeped into your subconcious. i hope you wake up screaming with a terrible need to claw out your eyes.

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

well i'll just dream of u having a vagina

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

i'll wake up laughing

Soapy - tired of the games you play says: 

and go hahaha. i always knew that

the good eek says: 

fuck, i'd laugh after waking up from that dream

Office mischief part 3

Salvation

I accompanied someone to shop for a pair of running shoes. He shops like a girl. Seriously. He must have tried at least 6 different sets of shoes before settling for the one. Now that he’s made his decision. I hope he’s satisfied and stops getting injuries. 

FBC once said I write like a boy. The girls say that my mind is corrupted beyond salvation. I think my outing today just confirms this. Before lunch at Ikea (we were making fun of how the ang mohs pronounce it as “Eye-kay-ah”) I had a mad case of the giggles thanks to him for testing out a pillow.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?,” I asked still giggling.

He looked at me unsure, then he said loudly,

“Yah I know you’re thinking about better leverage right”

After which I quietly walked away because people started to stare. We then proceeded to view more questionable furniture. One of the hot favourites being a shiny stainless steel surgical table like trolley. Kinky, as I thought of a nicely rounded peach-shaped naked ass would giggle, pressed against it. Damn the Swedes for making such fine furniture. 

Mischief part 2.

Val's desk, while waiting for E, our itchy fingers decided to wrap up Val's stationery in newspaper.

You Fucker :)

Work Mischief

Edit: By popular demand, the good peeps who I lepak @ starbucks with have suggested I put up a chatbox. It's up. Ta-daaaaaaaaaa. 

My work place has a few "celebrities."

Wonder what's got him so happy?

It was KH's birthday so we decided to sabo him. 

There were stickers all over his cubicle.
And there was even a note:

Also for Wayne,

Gymnastics got hoop one okay.

Looking back

Makes me wonder what transpired such conversation.

In conversation @ vurk

Lost in translation: At work with LS

Me to LS: Hey if we have lots of heavy stuff KS will have to be our beast of burden.

LS to KS: Eh KS tmr YOU'RE going to be our donkey cos we have to carry lots of heavy things. Please dress comfortably.

I *hearts* working with crazy ppl.

Have I mentioned I love my new job?

Format: Email


Sent to E CC: LS, 3.59PM

Dear E,
Since u have the biggest desk in our cosy new corner, you are required to allocate some space for us to contain our "hoards" which are not limited to the following:chocolates, biscuits, our growing collection of beverage sachets, instant noodles.
Since we are terrorists, and terrorist demands are seldom negotiable, we expect full cooperation.
Lots of hearts,


Your new neighbours

Format: Email

Sent to Soppy CC: LS, 4.06PM

Dear Soppy,
Oh terrorist-wannabe neighbours (Les Terribles),
That's a wonderful suggestion (demand). You have to ensure that your hostage (lovely me) is well-fed so that you will always have space for your growing food corner (hoard). :D
E


Format: Email

Sent to E CC: LS, 4.11PM


Ever so optimistic E. I confirm that your elephant tranquilisers are working great. And yes we treat hostages very well to comply with ISO (Infidels are So Overrated) standards.


Format: Email

Sent to Soppy CC: LS, 4.53PM

thanks for reminding me about the tranquilisers. need it bad now ... my head is throbbing. how about some medical aid for ze lovely hostage?


Format: Email

Sent to E CC: Soppy, 5.05PM

Soppy has jus gone off to pick up the ransom, so she regrettably is unable to attend to your request. in any case, hostages have to just bear with things until release (if at all). at least that's the case in my experience :-)

--------------------------------------------

Heng didn't get lumped together with the diet bunch.

The strangest things he says.

There's this island right ... it was called Phuket and it's in Indonesia. For all you geographically impaired people Phuket is here.

I think Old Chang Kee does their own advertising. I mean remember the pregnant curry puffs? That's the grossest thing I've ever seen. And why would I want to eat a curry puff within a curry puff?

Yah and you know what would be really scandalous, finding a sardine curry puff within a curry curry puff. 

Image taken from official website

How do you even go to sleep at night knowing that you ate some baby curry puff for tea!

It's times like these that I look upon and I understand why I am so unspeakably attracted. He makes me laugh till my cheeks hurt. 

In conversation - And it just keeps getting better people

Boys and girls ... I present to you the effects of alcohol. 

Wayne: My friends and I have a game, everytime someone says something remotely sexual someone responds with that's what she said.

Wayne doing the Eric Cartman 

Wayne as EC: Skinny ass ... I'm going home

Shirin: That's too short

Me: Yeah that's what SHE said. 

And now we return to our regular scheduled programming:

I wish I had ninja search skills ... 

wayne.rée says: (5:27:03 PM)

i have a picture of me in a spider-man costume when i was five years old, one of me in a britney like tied up t-shirt dancing with another guy, one of me with a tire around my waist and boots tied around my neck and one of me in drag. at this point, you REALLY think me in make up is a surprise or a shock to ANYONE?

*hsus - SoPPy says: (5:29:32 PM)

i doubt so

*hsus - SoPPy says: (5:29:37 PM)

u got me at britney

*hsus - SoPPy says: (5:29:47 PM)

really now ... britney?!

Right now I'd love to get my hands on that Britney pic, I should make that my life long goal. 

Reason 5 on why I think Wayne is a lesbian continued ...

His ex girlfriend The last girl he slept with was one. Makes the transition to date men all the more easier. Baby steps now. 

Making something out of nothing

Sometimes, I'm amused at how I amuse myself.

Like yesterday in class, as usual KL bombed. Soo reckons she could probably recite the lecture while having sex. I countered by saying something really nasty ** and that she probably wouldn't be having any sex.

Image used with permission from Joey Hohoho

Anyhow, here's a list of Questionable Notes that I took down during the lecture, because I'm so hardworking.

• Uncontrollable urges


• Mail Male shorts (I was imagining the super short type)


• Move in (It sounds really sexy if you say it right at an opportuned time)


• Gorrila marketing (ok this was just dumb)


• Climax


• When you do it at the bus stop ... with people watching (This is so kinky when taken out of context)


• Boost sagging ...


• Personal selling (sounds like self prostitution)


• Mail Male bleeds (sounds like male menstruation)


• Stroke their ego


• Super agency urgency


• High impact message massage


• planning shit (I forgot where this came from) She meant planning sheet


• Tit bit


• DIY

Queerer than queer

J's tramp stamp, yes who ever is reading right now, J is a guy with an extremely small waist.

I also present to you the first 3 4 reasons and more reasons to keep on counting on why I think Wayne is a closet lesbian.

1. He once asked me if he gave on a certain gay vibe when I met him for coffee as if to ask for validation of some sort. While I gave a very meh answer because such things do not really bother me. I'd never known that this would be the start of something so epic.

2. He wants to go to work in sneakers and a suit.

Barney Stinson: Suit with sneakers. A little Ellen DeGeneres, but you pull it off.

3.
Philosophie says:
i say lets go for a nasty yeast infection (On cursing KL with a yeast infection)
.xom says:
yeah, but to see her awkwardly try to discretely scratch herself down there? disturbing... and priceless.
Philosophie says:
yup she'll be in some sort of shaolin stance attempting to limbo the table with a cactus as a centre piece for purely asthetic reasons ala ellen
.xom says:
so, we're agreed? itchy genital warts then?
Philosophie says:
ok u won me over
.xom says:
channelling our joint belief then in 3...
.xom says:
2
.xom says:
1
.xom says:
BELIEVE! (rainbow icon)
.xom says:
(i've never used that rainbow emoticon before and the first time i do? it's for genital warts. my god...)
Philosophie says:
ok this is going to be reason no. 3 why i believe you are a lesbian

Ooooh I just remembered this one

4. He loves the word man-gina (new)

Spiderman - How it should have ended

I couldn't resist. This is too funny not to share.