Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Robert Schwartzman is kinda hot. Especially when he's half a Coppola, he looks like an older Dave Franco. I suspect my daily feed of Questionable Content has cultivated an interest in the indie-rock looking boy. Marty IS kinda cute for a cartoon. 

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Short talk

Inspired by conversations with Den

I personally think this recession has forced us into creative employment opportunities. Look at Gary Ng - the rise of the Singaporean Male Pornstar.

Short stop

Pew pew would probably be the most non-threatening onomopiac sound ever conceived for a weapon shot. It’s like unicorns shooting out rainbows out of their asses.

And then Wayne sends me this visual:

It would have been waaaay cooler if the unicorn had rainbows shooting out of its ass.
She twirled her longer hair round her fingers while she checked her phone with one hand like a natural text-aholic. Her digital clock read 2.21am, and she was slightly irate by the casual proposal. Nothing good ever happens after 2am. 

Her lips curled at a distant memory. 

It had started with a text. An impromptu preposition of some sort. Some call it an indecent proposal. 

A relay of messages followed fixing the little details of a rendezvous. 

She picked up a young bottle of Red Muscato that corresponded with her lightened mood. 

When he had arrived, she was inebriated while he was shivering slightly partly from the cool wind and partly because of circumstantial boundaries. 

Curfews, sneaking out and parents bring an obscene imbalance to the equation for the liberated female. She laughed at her own ambivalent desperation and most importantly how under any other instance, it would have been a complete turn off. 

She remembered his washboard stomach as in quivered against her lips as she made her way downwards. She had been hungry in every sense until upon his first thrust, she gasped. 

She was utterly bewildered at how negligible his member was. Frustrated at her own frustrations. To make things worst, flipping sides didn't help but merely escalated her dissatisfactions. 

It seemed to go on forever. At least he had decent stamina she mused to herself as she thought of every lover that she's ever had. If things could have not gone worse, he whispered every dirty thought he had in her ear. 

"Are we there yet?" she enthused. It was like riding a donkey to China, with a dildo up your ass. At the end of the porn star performance, she bid him good-bye, rolled over and had her good night's rest. 

Nothing good ever happens after 2am.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Start of something new

Weekend start was awesome. No regrets about riding the guillotine early. We did it guys. All of us together. The euphoria led to some thing else. Thank ye too. 

Having a staged alter ego is sort of like wearing concealer at night, you look great, take on a whole different persona, and after it all ends, you go back to being the same person you were.  

I had a weird dream this afternoon about being on a train that didn't stop looping, lying next to a familiar face, he was smiling at me. I wish someone would really look at me like that. 

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Looping: <3's Dan for sending the song

runnin through the monsoon 
beyond the world
to the end of time
where the rain won't hurt 
fighting the storm
into the blue
and when i lose myself
i'll think of you 
together we'll be running somewhere new
through the monsoon
just me and you

Inspired by Felix across the north borders.

On the MRT on the way home, I spot a girl smiling to herself as she checks out her phone. Makes you kinda wonder what is going through her mind. 

Mental masturbation - where she clutches the train handles tightly as she grits her teeth like a scene in a japanese hentai, she blushes a deep shade of pink as she is crossing and uncrossing her thighs trying to forget the moistness and throbbing between her legs. Resisting the urge to touch herself in public, she gulps and almost lets out a small moan as the blood rushes to her head giving herself a mini orgasm. 

A joke of some sort between 2 co-workers that involve impaling a common super(visor) starting with stapling her eyelids shut. 

An old wives tale that was passed on from mother to daughter about a marriage of a village girl to a horse. Her mother swears it happened. She laughs of the thought of her mother finding bestiality porn. Seems that it was already fashionable then. 

The promises of a lovesick over-zealous admirer who'd promise her anything she'd ever wish for. 

So much had ran through her thoughts. And yet ... The one thing that truly tickled her for the duration of that journey was watching an elder couple that she estimated to be 2 generations older. The old lady's head rested upon the frail shoulders of her partner, her palm encased in his. 

The observer took out her mobile to take a picture and then decided against it in fear of trespassing on such a personal moment. She looked hard at them again, as if to make a mental photograph and decided that the image would burn in her mind as the sort of happiness that she would aspire to have for herself to last her lifetime. 

Monday, March 16, 2009

C: I need a cause, I hate volunteer work.
Me: What about rehabilitation of whores back into society, you are already in the the RC. (C lives in Geylang - Singapore's red light district)
C: I hate you.

C: What's with that smug look?
Me: I just a mental high five with the little person in my head. SCORE!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

One and only

*hsus  Philosophie says: (8:30:08 PM)
i want attention
Nuahs - missing pot says: (8:31:33 PM)
*hsus  Philosophie says: (8:32:33 PM)
Nuahs - missing pot says: (8:32:41 PM)
*hsus  Philosophie says: (8:32:48 PM)

Walled-of fame

(You) look good for a constipated person

Breakfast conversation

@ BK Cineleisure
Me: Way to pick a location
C: (Looking around) What's wrong
Me: Everyone is so frickkin young. This is so not my demographic.
C: Ya, not for the past 10 years at least.  

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Dorky kinda cute

LS found this for me at work. He's a pharmacist in US. I wouldn't mind if he came seranade me.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Short thoughts

Haven't had any inspiration from the below mentioned challenge. My head's filled with graphic grossness thanks to Warren Ellis and Will's special mention of 2 girls in a cup to which I wiki-ed and decided that I would rather go blind and gorge my eyes out with a spoon than to partake in such a spectacle.

I sat up wide awake. Thinking of a suitable plot, as layered as kuih lapis (About the same time hunger pangs start to sink in) but to no avail. So I thought abt school and managed some constructive ideas abt the presentation. All is not lost. I'm quite exhausted today.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Short stop

By request I was asked/tasked/challenged to do something worthy of  a porn script. I will however think about it and with enough inspiration get to it as soon as i get a new muse. 

I'm making a personal resolution to make any moves on a guy and wait till he makes them. Just like its meant to be. Until then I will fill all my days with enriching healthy activities.

S tried to ring me but I didn't pick up his call. I didn't want to be dependent on him. At the back of my mind, I think its because I'm friends with his boss's wife. Karma is a bitch. Besides, it was good to know there are other people I can count on for support even if they're a 12 hour time difference away. 

The wingman got gf liao. My advise works better on others than it does myself. I should charge for therapy sessions. After which i use that money to seek therapy myself. 

My secondary schoolmate's micro blog about his coming bundle of joy here. It was always been a private joke for us that his kid would inherit 4 dimples from both parents. Talk about good genes. Their kids would probably be blessed with Mom's good looks and Dad's good brains (hopefully not his tiny eyes LOL). 


Mental meltdown. I could feel my heart race uncontrollably, my ears ringing and heat radiating from my face and palms. 38.7 degrees. After contemplating my existence I was much too exhausted. 

When 2 out of x of my best shags have decided to move to Europe and not come back, it doesn't become a statistic. It's a f@#$ing demographic.

I need a Euro trip. 

Flash back to Saturday.

It's strange how we seek comfort in someone else's misery. It was his birthday Saturday. Between sobriety and a smoke, I remembered telling K and she told me, you know my gf ended a 6 year relationship when she was 31.
"After that she went on a fucking binge and soon I started to remember the men in her life by their professions." 
I told her about how I felt about the Singapore dating scene and she said that its a generation thing. It's the 80s. 

I laughed. 

By her hypothesis, I would have to start dating guys who are at least 5 years older than I am or 7 years younger. 

Sunday, March 8, 2009


He came by past noon all dressed up in his reservist gear. We hardly made small talk. He looked thoughtful as if to censor himself. He was always so politically correct. Smart but over self regulated.

He looked great as I had always known him to be, his hair neatly tussled, his smile semi reserved and his clothes hanging off his tight chiseled frame. In short, (haha to the pun coz he was about the same height as I was) he made quite a beach hottie. 

I thought about him as a public figure one day. He still baffles me up till now. He seems promising but as any one with real power or less worldly wise, he'll be bound to make mistakes; some contradicting the past and promises he cannot keep. Then perhaps he'll learn that life or even the press is less forgiving. 

Thnks fr th mmrs, adieu.  

Saturday, March 7, 2009

For Weilin and the lizard-haters

I've never felt so grossed out and fascinated before.
If it's been removed search Jin-Jok in youtube.

Friday, March 6, 2009

In conversation

Intern 1: Honestly I do not know what to do if I was presented with that many pectorals. Do you like pectorals?

Me: I wouldn't really care.

Intern 2: (With a Eureka look) I know! You could play DDR

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

In conversation

sOaPy - “The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”:
Newsflash u are turning 27 in 3 days. How fucking old is that?

"Soaps, you look as if you took a walk along the cosmics and the stars
twinkled for you, just for you."

E on my euphoric moment eating white chocolate coated rice krispies that had a maple flavouring.

I also learnt that porno mag in chinese is Ser Qing Kan Wu. My thirst for knowledge astounds even me.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My precious

I have a sexy new addition to my family. I'm calling him Pete along with other inanimate possessions of mine; Amanda my macbook and Berdberd my router. Strangely PSP and camera do not have names.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Soapy tries scriptwriting for reality TV

Scene 486, Season 2: Enter bestfriend of main cast member, Sam into posh restaurant. Lighting is kept to a minimal almost like the Paris Hilton sex tape. She’s wearing a little tight electric blue dress with a matching expensive as hell handbag and stiletto heels. Her fake boobs look like they’re going to pop out of that sucka any moment yet she manages to jiggle daintily into a booth seat. 

She orders a bottle of sparkling water and lemon and checks her watch (product placement) and furrows her semi botox-ed brow. (It may or may not move depending on how recent botox was done)

Cue Jesse, tall hot tanned, sparkly light eyes with side swept perfectly blow dried hair. Walks no, saunters in. Slides into the booth seat with ease unlike Ms fake boobs.

He gives Sam a peck on the cheek. Sam looks visibly cheesed off.

Jess: Baby what’s wrong?

Sam: You’re late. Look, I’ve been here waiting for 2 full minutes for you. (Points at watch)

Jess: I’m not, I was parking the car. I told you to get out while I parked the car.

Sam: What ever. I’m hungry.

Jess proceeds to order his food.

Scene 487, Season 2:

Sam: Are you happy?

Jess: (While chomping on his food) Yeah.  What’s there not to be happy about?

Sam: I mean we’ve been seeing each other for about 5 months now. 

Jess: Yeah, its  been great. But I'm not ready for a relationship right now. I really want to but things have been so unsettled. 

Sam: (almost tearing) Yeah me too. 

Jess: By the way you remember my ex, Andi?

Sam: Yeah she was quite pretty. 

Jess: I don't think I'm over her. And she wants to get back together. I'm so CONFUSED.

Sam: I'm so drunk right now.

They start to make out.

**Soundtrack plays end credits roll. Voice over: Stay tuned for the next episode ...