Sunday, March 1, 2009

Soapy tries scriptwriting for reality TV

Scene 486, Season 2: Enter bestfriend of main cast member, Sam into posh restaurant. Lighting is kept to a minimal almost like the Paris Hilton sex tape. She’s wearing a little tight electric blue dress with a matching expensive as hell handbag and stiletto heels. Her fake boobs look like they’re going to pop out of that sucka any moment yet she manages to jiggle daintily into a booth seat. 

She orders a bottle of sparkling water and lemon and checks her watch (product placement) and furrows her semi botox-ed brow. (It may or may not move depending on how recent botox was done)

Cue Jesse, tall hot tanned, sparkly light eyes with side swept perfectly blow dried hair. Walks no, saunters in. Slides into the booth seat with ease unlike Ms fake boobs.

He gives Sam a peck on the cheek. Sam looks visibly cheesed off.

Jess: Baby what’s wrong?

Sam: You’re late. Look, I’ve been here waiting for 2 full minutes for you. (Points at watch)

Jess: I’m not, I was parking the car. I told you to get out while I parked the car.

Sam: What ever. I’m hungry.

Jess proceeds to order his food.

Scene 487, Season 2:

Sam: Are you happy?

Jess: (While chomping on his food) Yeah.  What’s there not to be happy about?

Sam: I mean we’ve been seeing each other for about 5 months now. 

Jess: Yeah, its  been great. But I'm not ready for a relationship right now. I really want to but things have been so unsettled. 

Sam: (almost tearing) Yeah me too. 

Jess: By the way you remember my ex, Andi?

Sam: Yeah she was quite pretty. 

Jess: I don't think I'm over her. And she wants to get back together. I'm so CONFUSED.

Sam: I'm so drunk right now.

They start to make out.

**Soundtrack plays end credits roll. Voice over: Stay tuned for the next episode ...

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