Blonde ambition

Been wanting to go blonde for the longest time. The tough part is choosing the right shade to match fair azn skin.

In conversation - the return of the yardstick (It had to be you)

Original text msg:

I'm back on the (Date)! Be at XXX mrt at 11pm. I'm staying the night.

I was hoping it was him. I was so sure. I just needed his affirmation. It's been a year. Wouldn't kill him to just come clean right? Then I remembered how the romantics and mystery had always been part of his appeal. I miss ...

Sophie

facebook msg i asked u if u were the one who sent the potentially suggestive text to me

6:26pmYardstick

might have been

6:27pmSophie

you half irk me (for not signing off)

i was wondering why my dad would want to meet up at 11pm (at the mrt)

6:27pmYardstick

how so?

lol

u jus have to wait at 11 to see who turns up then

6:28pmSophie

if i asked him and got it wrong, i'd probably have to sit thru a half hour lecture abt the birds and the bees

*grin* I'll see you then

Random

Robert Schwartzman is kinda hot. Especially when he's half a Coppola, he looks like an older Dave Franco. I suspect my daily feed of Questionable Content has cultivated an interest in the indie-rock looking boy. Marty IS kinda cute for a cartoon. 

Dorky kinda cute

LS found this for me at work. He's a pharmacist in US. I wouldn't mind if he came seranade me.

Soapy tries scriptwriting for reality TV

Scene 486, Season 2: Enter bestfriend of main cast member, Sam into posh restaurant. Lighting is kept to a minimal almost like the Paris Hilton sex tape. She’s wearing a little tight electric blue dress with a matching expensive as hell handbag and stiletto heels. Her fake boobs look like they’re going to pop out of that sucka any moment yet she manages to jiggle daintily into a booth seat. 

She orders a bottle of sparkling water and lemon and checks her watch (product placement) and furrows her semi botox-ed brow. (It may or may not move depending on how recent botox was done)

Cue Jesse, tall hot tanned, sparkly light eyes with side swept perfectly blow dried hair. Walks no, saunters in. Slides into the booth seat with ease unlike Ms fake boobs.

He gives Sam a peck on the cheek. Sam looks visibly cheesed off.

Jess: Baby what’s wrong?

Sam: You’re late. Look, I’ve been here waiting for 2 full minutes for you. (Points at watch)

Jess: I’m not, I was parking the car. I told you to get out while I parked the car.

Sam: What ever. I’m hungry.

Jess proceeds to order his food.

Scene 487, Season 2:

Sam: Are you happy?

Jess: (While chomping on his food) Yeah.  What’s there not to be happy about?

Sam: I mean we’ve been seeing each other for about 5 months now. 

Jess: Yeah, its  been great. But I'm not ready for a relationship right now. I really want to but things have been so unsettled. 

Sam: (almost tearing) Yeah me too. 

Jess: By the way you remember my ex, Andi?

Sam: Yeah she was quite pretty. 

Jess: I don't think I'm over her. And she wants to get back together. I'm so CONFUSED.

Sam: I'm so drunk right now.

They start to make out.

**Soundtrack plays end credits roll. Voice over: Stay tuned for the next episode ...

The Hills with James Franco and Mila Kunis from James Franco

If I was queen of the world, there'd be no love songs, romantic novels or movies.

I caught Becoming Jane today, was rather tempted at channel switching, period dramas were never my thing even though I have great respect for Jane Austen as a writer but after a while her stories get a little blah, always between the dichotomy of social classes, likened the plots of modern day Korean dramas. And then what?

James McAvoy and his beautiful, baby blues.

“What value would there be in life if we are not together.”

Apparently lots. Had she eloped with Tom Lefroy, the man wouldn’t have gone to become who he became and she wouldn’t have devoted her life in writing. 

Watching the movie, the question of historical accuracies aside, I thought it gave a little insight to what type of person she was and how cold reality is. With that in mind, I do believe that genuinely they gave each other their hearts and love to last their lifetimes. 

Jane Austen never married. 

It is though, on the creepy side, to have her “ex” name his first born after her.

New Eye candy

New posts about him will be referred to as 12FH, short for the 12th Floor hottie. 

What should have gone down in the lift while I was alone with him:

12FH: Which floor?

Me: 9th (and then proceeds to press it, he reaches for it too and our fingers meet) 

12FH: Hi

Me: Heh, are you new

12FH: Yes, I'm from xxx dept

Me: Ah okay, I'm from xxx dept

12FH: I remember you from the games

Me: Really?

12FH: Yup, you were the one who suggested your team cut out two holes from your green headbands and wear them like ninja turtles. 

Me: Ah yes and you were in the white group who wore headbands as headbands, so uninspiring

12FH: Haha, but there's never been a green ninja turtle though.

Me: Yup, Raphael was red, Michealangelo was orange, Leonardo was blue and Donatello was purple. 

12FH: Wow. 

Me: Yes, I've always wanted to impress a guy by channeling my inner geek of my knowledge of ninja turtles. 

Le sigh

He's really cute. I suspect it's the big black plastic framed glasses. 

People more damaged than I am

(via sms) J: Too many issues, dunno where to start. Me thinks key solution, u should stop rebounding and heal your heart first. Cancer is still very much on your mind, FBC isn’t outwardly what you are willing to settle for and the Yardstick is another variable you shouldn’t be thinking about.

I’ve been dreaming about Cancer. Random things, when I’m awake I tell myself not to think of him and poof … gone. It doesn’t happen when I sleep. I dream of random things that I end up getting upset over and find myself waking up in shock more disgruntled than ever. I start to dread sleep that is not alcohol or drug induced. The dreams have stopped ever since things have progressed with FBC whom has been a nice distraction until now.

I hate it when I’m right about things. What is it with my choice in men? If there’s one thing I’ve learnt is that, despite the many promises, never try to change them. This one is the same as the predecessors, too many issues. I try to steer clear of them especially if it is dealing with fidelity or distance. I have abandonment issues especially after Cancer and all the single and not available men I’ve been dating.

The year-end is drawing near and I have this personal superstition of mine that it does not bode well for me if I spend it alone at home alone.

Yardstick: then i would have had a lot of bad luck over the years...

Me: But like i said, its a personal superstition.

Yardstick: i make my own luck :p

This pattern I’ve noticed over a span of 6 years so who can contest that huh? Don’t get me wrong, its not as if I’m scrambling to be a dick warmer of any sort. Thankfully I’ve not resorted to that sort of desperation.

I’ve had some nice invites for NYE, (thank ye Wayne and yes I am aware that IDR exchange rate is 8K to SGD $1, I super miss the guys down under and a 16 hour flight across the world is waay out of my budget) I’m really contemplating getting totally wasted although it’s a nice thought but I really don’t want to spend time making out with a random stranger. Beer googles and being alone has a knack of getting to you. What I really want is to be around the people who are important to me.

In life, if you don't give head, you don't get head

After my breakup with Cancer, I was having a conversation with the Yardstick over one martini too many. He was leaving and I drank waaaay too much even for my standards. Imagine me slurring and me shifting precariously on the bar stool.


"Marriage should be like a business transaction. I mean look at my parents 13 years of marriage later, my dad goes off to marry a woman not much older than me. Fast forward another 12 years later, now he's telling me that he's tired of his new wife. And talking to me as if I'm his friend as if to get sympathy or validation. WTF. I should be the last person who should believe in love. There is no love. It's non-existent! There can only be lust and sex."


He listens obviously amused and asks me to tell him more about the business transaction.


"You see natural selection will not allow me to shag an ugly guy. Simply because I'm not ugly, I'm not drop dead gorgeous but I'm not ugly. You've got to be one of the best looking guys around in the bar and yet you're fixated on me."


At this point he laughs, looks around, two well dressed chicks pass him and says, that's because you have the nicest tits here.

Image used for editorial purposes only.

"Well at least they're good for one thing," I answered in a deadpanned voice.

So I reckon if I could one day find me a man who supported my endeavors, have aesthetically average looks, have 2.5 kids, an apartment and provided food on the table, I might cave and settle as opposed to going into academia, getting published, writing a novel, writing a cook book. Becoming an alcoholic, doing drugs, dying young. 

If I really wanted to be an overachiever, I'll marry an Indian Eurasian, my kids will defo enter Ms Singapore Universe. Or Ms Tiffany if they're as fucked as I was.