In my little emo moments. I think the lyrics say it all. Alanis Morrisette started out fantastic when she first broke out. Angsty women music were kinda big then and she had a great run. I really feel for herlah, her ex-fiance, Ryan Renolds went on to marry ScarletJo who looks like the poster girl for an anatomically perfect woman. She's kinda classier now too. I'd think it'd be so easy to slam them in a song.
I remember Sha telling me that there should be a line to segregate the lines between bestfriend and boyfriend. Was telling Jude how the quality of my conversations now has improved thanks to a certain person who has chosen to "play a role in my life."
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I'm too nice for my own good. I told myself that I'd stop caring but I ended up recommending him for a job. Hearing his voice again. I felt something. The same feeling when I would overhear his voice over J's phone when he calls sometimes. This is sad and masochistic. I end up falling over and over again. The vortex of insanity - It has a tagline. It sucks. People caught in it are called suckers. Chocolate cake makes me happy. Yes indeed but greed is not good. There is such a thing called too much of a good thing. Sub the latest Soul Eater Episodes already MOFOs! Tossed and turned, couldn't sleep well. I wonder if he noticed. I want a holiday. I think i deserve one. It occurred to me this time two years ago, he proposed. Why am I still thinking of him. I am not in love. Not out. Still getting lucky, that's what is most importante. You might be really happy with what you're doing until someone tells you you're not. Then life begins to suck. And you realise that, its all about the money. Densha okoto was nice. Escapism and hyperreality. I love happy endings. Secret santa headache.
Format: Email
Sent to Soppy CC: LS, 4.06PM
(via sms) J: Too many issues, dunno where to start. Me thinks key solution, u should stop rebounding and heal your heart first. Cancer is still very much on your mind, FBC isn’t outwardly what you are willing to settle for and the Yardstick is another variable you shouldn’t be thinking about.
I’ve been dreaming about Cancer. Random things, when I’m awake I tell myself not to think of him and poof … gone. It doesn’t happen when I sleep. I dream of random things that I end up getting upset over and find myself waking up in shock more disgruntled than ever. I start to dread sleep that is not alcohol or drug induced. The dreams have stopped ever since things have progressed with FBC whom has been a nice distraction until now.
I hate it when I’m right about things. What is it with my choice in men? If there’s one thing I’ve learnt is that, despite the many promises, never try to change them. This one is the same as the predecessors, too many issues. I try to steer clear of them especially if it is dealing with fidelity or distance. I have abandonment issues especially after Cancer and all the single and not available men I’ve been dating.
The year-end is drawing near and I have this personal superstition of mine that it does not bode well for me if I spend it alone at home alone.
Yardstick: then i would have had a lot of bad luck over the years...
Me: But like i said, its a personal superstition.
Yardstick: i make my own luck :p
This pattern I’ve noticed over a span of 6 years so who can contest that huh? Don’t get me wrong, its not as if I’m scrambling to be a dick warmer of any sort. Thankfully I’ve not resorted to that sort of desperation.
I’ve had some nice invites for NYE, (thank ye Wayne and yes I am aware that IDR exchange rate is 8K to SGD $1, I super miss the guys down under and a 16 hour flight across the world is waay out of my budget) I’m really contemplating getting totally wasted although it’s a nice thought but I really don’t want to spend time making out with a random stranger. Beer googles and being alone has a knack of getting to you. What I really want is to be around the people who are important to me.
Philosophie says: (2:30:58 PM)
Give me a setting and occupation
wayne.rée says: (2:31:19 PM)
uh... why?
Philosophie says: (2:33:20 PM)
just give me one
wayne.rée says: (2:33:43 PM)
the desert and accountant
Philosophie says: (2:34:06 PM)
y accountant?
wayne.rée says: (2:34:29 PM)
because it's the last job you'd expect of someone in the desert
wayne.rée says: (2:34:35 PM)
is this some weird fiction exercise?
Philosophie says: (2:34:38 PM)
yah
wayne.rée says: (2:35:35 PM)
thank yeh
Philosophie says: (2:36:33 PM)
the desert thing is so turn off-ish
Philosophie says: (2:36:40 PM)
coz i was thinking of something kinky
Philosophie says: (2:36:48 PM)
but she might get sand in her ...
Philosophie says: (2:37:10 PM)
and he might get abrasions
wayne.rée says: (2:37:19 PM)
so, essentially you just want to write an erotica and needed a main character and a setting. how is that even an exercise in fiction?!
Philosophie says: (2:37:47 PM)
i'm flexing my creative muscles here
Philosophie says: (2:37:53 PM)
do not question my methodology
Philosophie says: (2:38:20 PM)
its going to be a porn script
wayne.rée says: (2:38:28 PM)
and yet you're not happy with the setting. see, you're just pretending to be exercising, when actually you're slacking off in a corner of a gym.
wayne.rée says: (2:38:55 PM)
oooooooooh, i wanna write a porn script!! i haven't done sex stories in years!! plus, if it gets made, i get my name on the credits!!
Philosophie says: (2:39:06 PM)
copycat
Philosophie says: (2:39:27 PM)
i'll slap u with a used rubber dildo from desker
wayne.rée says: (2:39:27 PM)
i was thinking of co-writing with you, but fiiiiiiine. be selfish.
He sat by the café window thinking about the soiree that had occurred the night before. His 3 shot espresso latte had hardly stirred him from the undead he was stirring into.
“At least I feel free. I am free,” he reassured himself. His thoughts shifted to Amanda the accountant. If that was even her name or profession, one could never be sure from a one-night stand.
They had met at a bar in the central business district. She was with some colleagues when he had chatted her up, she already had a drink in hand. It was an uninspiring cosmopolitan. If there was one thing he had picked up, girls with cosmos were definitely more agreeable. Strip her off her expensive vintage Chanel suit, what he saw was a lonely soul who resonates with too much Sex and the City.
Like a tiger on the prowl executed his moves. By the time she had downed her 7th cocktail for the night, she was begging him to take her home, allowed him to grope her in inappropriate places in full view of the public and skillfully taken off her knickers and placed them in his pants pocket.
Her apartment was sparsely furnished. The first thing that caught his eye in her zen inspired apartment was a 3 by 3 sandbox.
The body that encased in the suit that he peeled off was nothing short of amazing, he lapped her up like a mirage in a desert. (Insert 3 different sex positions in graphic detail - you may get as creative or kinky as you want here. I know y'all have filthy minds)
And that was the story of Amanda the accountant.
All are welcome to provide input on the anti climatic ending, I'm down with a fever and bad throat, can't think of anything that inspiring in that department. So note away ...
