Gd ole times

I've not migrated out of blogger rather, to build up my creative portfolio and link to 8flo, http://philosoapyyyy.tumblr.com/ was set up. This blog will still continue to exist as a space i share with friends.

sweet dreams are made of this

I had a dream

Priscilla Ahn - "Dream" from Paste Magazine on Vimeo.

Stolen out of Jo.

This kinda sums up how I've been feeling since Cancer the Yardstick. Sometimes, someone interesting comes along but it always almost ends up with nothing really worth remembering and time just whizzes by like a blur.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

- Neil Gaiman

Close encounters

Me: i had the weirdest dream yesterday
i was making out with a man with a stubble and things were getting hot
then i told him that i had to go to the loo
and i woke up went to the toilet

A: HAHAHAHA
that was quite funny

Me: but the dream didn't continue! After I went back to bed.

A: damn he left

I wish I could have met you 6 years ago. I wouldn't have been this fucked up.

Daily affirmation

Dear self, you will be able to do citations faster than anyone in the office as a former IS student, even though you might have 1001 other more things to do, you will prioritize your work and do well without crying like a child or falling into depression.

Don't change.

Toiletbrush is one of my favouritest friends. It was heartbreaking for me to see him saying the words,

"Soph, if I become a fucker, will you still be my friend?"

over a chick who played him out. I miss our innocence. We've been friends since secondary school and grew up together. Our friendship has stood the test of lovers, heartache (repeat), propping each other up, not limited to him coming as my movie date at work, giving me encouragement and affirmation. Thing is, Toiletbrush, we've been friends for so long, I can throw you all the disapproving glares and we could get pissed at each other but we'll still be friends. Still. Don't change.

Blonde ambition

Been wanting to go blonde for the longest time. The tough part is choosing the right shade to match fair azn skin.

JJ is damn funneh.

Me
i watched the latest bleach anime (271)
orihime is damn irritating
11:39pm
JJ
can kill her pls?
11:39pm
Me
someone keel her already
lol
11:39pm
JJ
leave her boobs to someone more useful
like
erm
like
ah heck.. put them on ichigo
11:40pm
Me
HAHAHA

Time as I know it.

It's a personal choice of mine to take my personal life offline at least uploading of information like blogging, fb status updates and twitter.

It took a really creepy guy who has managed to successfully google me through one email address and started off what seemed like a harmless conversation of common interests to stalking.

Oh and facebook is a huge breach of privacy. It's child's play for the common hacker and because of how much information it contains, it makes perfect bait for identity theft.

The web provides endless hours of time wasting activities. I still feed off my weekly Kdrama, I really like Cinderella's Sister which I'm following on a weekly basis the same time it airs in Korea, Japanese Manga and Anime.

I'm definitely plugging CS because it seems like it took all the streotypes of the ideal Korean woman and put it into the 2nd lead that makes her vulnerable, ideal yet dislikeable and irritating. The step-sister lead on the other hand is stubborn, manipulative, mean and yet pitiful.

Moon Guen Young is also a great actress by the way, her crying scenes are gut wrenchingly poignant.

Still on the Asian media feed, the media student in me has to commend the Hyundai Shouts of Reds (Shouting Campaign).

Le sigh. If only the rest of us has the balls to dump money on a campaign like this one for the upcoming big event that Singapore will be hosting later this year.

Let's see what they did right ...

1. Get the right sponsor on board.
No tight assed conservative, preferably has the mentality of a bloody rich sugar daddy.

2. Get the right people to endorse in this case Kim Yuna and Big Bang.
Kim Yuna became some kind of a national heroine after bagging a Gold medal at the Winter Olympics. Honestly I don't see Big Bang Fans running out to buy Hyundai cars after seeing the advert or any idol group at least to have the spending power having appeal to rather young demographic but this is mitigated by their popularity or what we call star power.

3. Synchronised dancing.
Mambo has never gone out of style. Think Michael Jackson's Thriller, one hit wonder Soldier Boy caused an internet sensation with crank Dat and most recently Wonder Girls with Nobody.

4. Appropriate use of social media tools.
With the combined powers of 1,2,3 launch a campaign to push out the content. Youtube is free and most importantly GLOBAL. Last I saw the vid had about 40k in views which is pretty decent.

I like how the World Cup influences practically the whole country, in this case, the Hyundai campaign is but one of the many campaigns floating around virally. The build-up and hype kinda makes you want to chant Dae Han Min Guk.

(How come we not like that one?)

Fudgy frustrated cookies.

Y: Why do you have to live so far now?

Me: You moved too! From Upper East Coast!

Y: That's besides the point. I live 5 minutes away from where you work.

Me: .... ok you win.

i think i'm inherently evil.

Part of me has a masochistic streak that can sniff out weakness, incompetence and fear.

Was having a conversation with a stranger over social wholivesnearyou.

"Happiness is relative.
The higher the high, the deeper the drop.
But then again there's nothing modern medicine cannot fix."

"I think we live in a medicated society. I was referring to mood altering drugs like anti-depressants. You pop a pill and then suddenly don't feel like killing yourself. What rubbish. I believe in the power of the human mind. If you seriously need a pill to tell stop harming yourself I say you're better off dead cos you're just competing with me for oxygen."

What's your digital footprint like?

I deliberated taking away facebook - too many drunk pictures

blogger - too emo, twitter for a while. The truth is I feel like I should have an awesome life offline and there are so many things I'd want to do, yet to do and plan for.

Lazy bones

Packed a bolognese pasta with half a potatocake. Nao too lazy to walk downstairs . Heh. *satisfied smile*

I'm craving meat. Nothing beats a dead cow.

**Edit: Dead cow is good cow. ~ Andrew Ng

I don't have ideals of finding a perfect man but I've always had the ideals of finding someone one who'd love me despite my imperfections, someone who'd be happy, not just contented with me, living together and having a family and a home together. That's virtually everything I didn't have growing up. As the months flew by me these two years, it became more and more like an impossible dream. I knew that I had hit a bottom when having a successful career seemed so much more attainable.

I lol-ed at marijuana Santa

Product of coming from ah beng school: Hello Aunty. Not happy just say lah. No need to cower behind ambiguity. YOU invaded MY space. Live with it. It's not like I'm friends with you or your boyfriend which you keep by the way.

It dawned on me today that I don't have a home so I've decided to work for one.

Hate is a strong word. Some dimbos really don't know what they're talking about. Personally, I think the only way someone can really hate another person is when they started out loving him/her first. For everything else there is disdain, distaste, irk, irritation, dislike, aversion, contempt (and the list goes on)

I hate to say it but, there's really no use in growing intelligence in your tits.

Song of the mo': Everything

The beatles lied.

I think I felt compelled to leave tonight more than I ever have. I asked myself what happened to that person who worked so hard and achieved so much more. It hit me that I needed to dream bigger. Much bigger.

I want to see the leaves turn red in fall.

Friends like these

Yesterday,

A: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer up lah
Me: How to? Tomorrow's movie night. I could potentially bump in to him.
A: Well, I hope he trips down the cinema steps and breaks his nose, imagine him now all disfigured.
Me: *Hahaha* You sure know how to cheer me up.

A adds to the collection of platonic male friends to make up for the emotional peripheral replacement of a relationship. I needed an emotional pillar so I called on Toiletbrush to fill in the "date" space.

Problemo:

I'm trying to figure out how to work things out with the travelling, left-winged pot smoking (almost vegan) tree hugging hippie. I'd rather him spend 2 months here and I do the same as opposed to me just spending 2 months travelling South America with an almost complete stranger. One more option to go after the Games.

I have immense respect for Tablo as a musician, artist, and writer. Word alchemy at it's best.

"I think of you as my echo. When I first met you, I thought my mind and feelings which was spread out through the world had returned back to me as a person like you… Your wishes, hopes, dreams and happiness that you had throughout your life, I will give mine to you. I love you.”

Tablo 2009

Meredith represents all things dysfunctional. She's human. And I can relate to that much.

Family from Aug 14 - 26

KH is quite right, I can hardly recognise myself. I quite like the tan.

The little sister's virgin tattoo experience

I was quite proud she did not cry considering she SCREAMED when she got her ears pierced.

Toiletbrush says: Ohhh walau u damn hip la. Accompany your sis to ink. But it's nice. Good selection.

I'd like to lean my head on your shoulder and just pretend your were mine just for a few moments.

koff and sniffles

I think the double boiled ginseng chicken that I made last week was too heaty.

Had the most interesting conversation with a younger guy yesterday and we graduated to sms-ing. I feel like I'm going through a mid-20s crisis. Worse still, the younger sister pointed this out quite sometime ago. To which I answered that I can't help it if I like street fashion.

Early 20s - 20, 21, 22, 23
Mid 20s - 24, 25, 26 (I'm still here thankfully)
Late 20s or OMFG we're fast approaching the big tree-oh - 27, 28, 29

I was bitching to the equally young neighbour, he lives a stone throw away about the strange phenomenon older woman/younger man dynamic, something I affectionally I call the noona syndrome also known as Mrs Robinson effect or the cougar syndrome. What happened to the older guys?

To which he replied that "Age is only a number."

:o

Could the neighbour also have designs on an older woman? The neighbour's quite cute, he could pass off as a younger Rain with the whole tank top and small but apparent biceps thing going on.

I have to admit that this whole thing with the younger guy not the neighbour is awfully flattering and completely fueling my ego. :$

Motivational Lou Hei

"Being the first has a huge advantage, if you aim to be the best, someone is bound to break your record some day, but if you are the first, nobody can take that away from you."

Past talking

Honestly, sometimes I feel this little island is too small for the both of us.

I've always wanted to run away.

The idea of travelling to a foreign country, going on a few makan trips, wine and falling madly in love sounds so completely romantic. Why is it that I'm not quite feeling it?

Reflections of sneaky sneakers

Bring back 2002.

You used to ride your little bicycle to my place.

18 Febby

We had Itacho, walked and chilled out at Starbucks Fullerton over

iced-coffee and a Green Tea frap.

Han

enjoy church!!

12:16amSophie

i always do

it gives me a calmness i cannot explain

maybe not now, i feel tested

vexed and challenged like a fish out of water

too many issues

12:20amHan

i feel that i am the person on the far end of the road with a bowl of water but is not aware of the fish

12:23amSophie

i'm not too sure wad to say to that

Greeting card moment

My cell group mates send greeting cards for every thinkable occasion; welcome to the cell, birthdays, farewells, get-well-soons etc. My hallmark moment right now calls for a "Get the fuck out of my life :)"

I'm relying on my best friends to fix me.

2010 birthday

Good times.

Where in Singapore?

Condusive creative environment - smokes, power outlet, laptop, outdoor ventilation

8.30pm on a Sat night

I'm preparing for bed. Just too tired.

Darran captioned this as "introducing Sophie (surname) the raging alcoholic.

When decent conversation fails ...

Choose your adventure. Start a conversation with either of the following;

a) How are you?

b) Do you want to shag?

c) Liverpool played a shit game the other day ...

To which I responded

a)

Tired ...

"Would you rather I go home now?"

Don't be silly.

b) ... I'm not sure how to react to that

"Then just say YES!!!"

*throws a dagger piercing look*

c) I care very little for these male homo erotic sports.

"Hey at least I tried"

Conversations

"I dislike how hearts are replacing the word 'love.' <3 does not equal to love. I fear one day the word will disappear from our vocabularies."

I quite like a man with an opinion even though I might not necessarily agree with all of them.

Holiday hangover

Val captioned this as "Sophie is awesome" on fb.

Hellooooooooo! Jogja was great!

What's not so great is organising and consolidating the photos after. Between the 3 of us there's about 450 photos, I forgot to bring mine at the Borobudur tour. Eta did me one up by bringing her camera without the SD card. Hahaha.

The pornographer by John McGahern

"I too had stood mutilated by another gate, believing that I could not live without my love; but we endure, as the first creature leaving water endured, having first tried to turn back from the empty land. Having drunk from the infernal glass we call love and knowing we have lived our death, we turn to love another way, in the ordered calm of each thing counted and loved for its impending loss. We learn to smile."